GRAVITY! AN ODE TO AGEING

36 CommentsAgeing/Aging, Ditzy Ditties, Humour, Life

SUNG TO THE TUNE OF THE BEE GEES’ “TRAGEDY.”

Here’s the original, to give you the melody.  

♫♫♫ GRAVITY ♫♫♫

 Here I am

At the mirror, slowly looking down

What is this?

Such a vision makes me truly frown!

Sagging boobs

Expanding waist and all, what else?

I really should be grateful though

Grateful though

Oh hell no, oh hell no!

gravity leads to saggy boobs!

[CHORUS]

Gravity!

 With the face collapse and the drooping ass

It’s gravity!

When the image shocks and the mirror mocks

It’s hard to bear

There’s no going back and it’s all so unfair!

Gravity!

When your daily goal is to gain control

It’s gravity!

When the image shocks and the mirror mocks

It’s hard to bear

There’s naught you can say and it’s all so unfair!

gravity is not your friend!

[INSTRUMENTAL BREAK]

What to do

Go for Botox or the surgeon’s knife?

Not for me!

Just accept that this is part of life

Here I stand

Expanding waist and all; oh well!

I really should be grateful though

Grateful though

Oh hell no, oh hell no!

getting old is hard

Gravity!

[REPEAT CHORUS]

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We’re all getting old and that sucks, but acceptance works better with humour, yes?  Besides, it sure beats the alternative!  Truth be told, if there was money to spare, I’d be looking into some Juvederm or Restylane treatments to counteract the collapsing face.  Unfortunately, the results only last about six months or so and you’d have to keep it up.  

What’s YOUR take on ageing?

Looking forward to your comments!

Debbie

Image credits:    1. This Little Light of Mine    2. Laugh Lines.



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Canine Innkeeper in suburban Toronto, Canada, known as “The Doglady”. Writer/website owner, photographer, animal lover, music fanatic, inveterate traveller. History, literature and cinema buff. Eternal “hippie/rockchick”. Binational, German/Canadian and multilingual. Looking for the next adventure!

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36 thoughts on “GRAVITY! AN ODE TO AGEING

    1. This is Debbie, but I’m glad you liked the post. 😀 I’m trying to be graceful about it, but still don’t enjoy looking in the mirror! The natural hair colour turned out well, though. Feeling younger isn’t a paradox. In my head I’m 35!

  1. Hilarious! Its strange how we yearn to ‘grow up’ as a kid – mostly to be able to do things we are not ‘allowed’ to and suddenly when ‘old’ we want to look younger! There is nothing sadder than trying to physically try to continue looking as if in the twenties. Its better to focus on staying fit, mentally alert and content. Great post 🙂

    1. I agree for the most part, Archana, although I would love to look somewhat younger, like before the face started giving in to gravity. LOL Not willing to do anything painful or overly expensive though, so best to just try and age gracefully. Glad you enjoyed this and thanks for visiting.

  2. Hey Debbie,

    That’s so funny and since I know the tune well I was singing along. Loved it.

    Yep, we’re all getting old and there is no turning back the clock. I was talking to a neighbor of mine about this the other day who just happens to be in a network marketing opportunity of course for health products. One of the ones she promotes is about something that can help tighten the skin and yes, you have to keep applying it but it’s not as expensive as some I’ve seen and we have to keep doing moisturizers anyway right!

    I don’t have a problem with aging but I do have a problem with having inherited my Dad’s side of the family partially in my face. Just trust me when I say my Dad’s mom was NOT a pretty woman and I do NOT want to look like that but I’m headed that direction if I don’t do something about it. Not trying to turn back time but I’m just trying to prevent looking like either of them. Love them dearly but…

    ~Adrienne

    1. Hi Adrienne; Yes, there are some potions and lotions that can help a little. I like the Oil of Olay Wrinkle Eraser, myself. It really does soften the crows feet and others lines and my moisturizer also has a tightening agent. Hope yours gets the desired results as well. 🙂 Kind of scary when you get an unflattering preview of what you might look like later in life. My mother kept her good looks into her 80s, so. here’s hoping! Thanks for visiting and have a great weekend.

  3. I love this Debbie! I’ve read a version of this and sung it to that tune. And yes, I sang it again now.

    My take on ageing? I am showing it the middle finger. Age ain’t nothin’ but a number, babe! 😀

    P.S.: Thanks for sticking that Bee Gees song in my head now! Hmph!

    1. Glad you enjoyed it, Vidya! 🙂 Yeah, age is just a number and I’m giving it the middle finger too, but, it’s giving it back to me. LOL As for the song, I know, it’s catchy enough to stick in your head. We call songs like that “ear worms”. Just start dancing. 😉 Thanks for visiting.

  4. Mama always said — you’re old when your chin touches your boobs…
    your boobs touch your tummy…and your tummy touches the floor.

    OMGOSH, I hope I’m not livin’ that long!

    Great, funny post. xx

  5. Now that is originally funny. 😀
    My take on aging is to have you ask me next year when I turn the big 5-0.
    Until then, I leave you with a quote from a mediocre Popeye cartoon: You’re as old as you feel young.

    1. Thank you George. Glad you liked it! 😀 Only 50? 😉 I’ve got you beat by 10 years, but agree with Popeye. In my head I’m 35. Cheers!

  6. You’re too much Debbie! I couldn’t stop laughing out loud over here! I love the poem and I can totally relate! I’m noticing more grey hair and wrinkles. The boobs are still in place but I know it won’t be long before gravity starts to take its toll! LOL

    Oh and I love the song! I know he wasn’t a big part of the BeeGee’s but I loved me some Andy Gibb!

    1. Hi Corina! 😀 Glad you enjoyed this. You’re a lot younger than me, so you have some time yet. I remember Andy Gibb well. He had a beautiful voice, like his older brothers. This song was always a favourite as well. Thanks for visiting and have a great rest of the week.

  7. Isn’t the worst part about getting older is that you don’t ‘feel’ or ‘think’ any older? When I look in the mirror sometimes I am shocked and wonder who that old lady is. I loved the song and the cartoon measuring the boobs. I once was told (when I turned 60) that you know you are old when you kneel down and your boobs hit the floor before your knees do.

    1. Oh, I’m with you there, Carol! LOL Don’t think the boobs are hanging quite that low yet, but kneeling down isn’t a regular activity for me – too hard to get back up, with my bad knee and arthritis. That sure is a funny visual though! 😀

  8. Debbie, that is hilarious. Seeing her measure the downward slope of her boobs is one of the funniest aging chuckles I’ve seen. I color my hair and try to whiten my teeth, but am almost giving up on the spreading waistline and butt. I’ve begun buying shorts in men’s department because they fit my waist/hip ratio better ANDhave more room in the crotch. I’ve always hated tight pants in my crotch (I’m so delicate). Won ‘t try any if the facial stuff -as you say, it’s all temporary and expensive, PLUS, until they come up with decent neck and back-of-hand remedies, the face stuff is worthless because hands are a dead giveaway!!

    Wish I could get rid of our mirrors, but they are necessary for some things.

    Great post 🙂

    1. Glad you enjoyed this little ditty, Sammy! Yes, we all make certain adjustments and tight pants are damn uncomfortable. A delicate area for everyone. 😀 I switched from shorts to capris a couple of years ago, about the same time I quit dyeing my hair. Fortunately, that turned out well and it’s great to be free from the drudgery. Oily skin and being “pleasantly plump” (I think they call it “fluffy” these days LOL), helps keeps the wrinkles manageable, but what I hate the most is the crinkling on either side of the chin and the drooping, jowly effect from the collapsing face. UGH! 😛 Banish the mirrors – great idea! It was so nice to see you here. Thanks for taking the time and have a great week.

    1. Yes – I’m all for ageing gracefully but have to admit, the collapsing face is what depresses me a little bit. 🙂 Thanks for visiting.

    1. So glad you enjoyed this, Cathy! 😀 I loved the Bee Gees from the very beginning – around 1967. Was kind of disappointed when they went full-tilt Disco, but I do like this one. Thanks for visiting.

  9. What a great write-up Debbie.
    All the artificial treatments only last for a small period of time but what should get wider with age is the smile on the face. Smile with sagging bodies , grey in the hair and let the world know that life is to be lived and NOT measured.

    1. Well, I certainly have the smile, sagging body and grey hair. 😀 All of that is okay with me, but what I don’t like is the sagging face. LOL You are right though, that life should be lived, regardless. Thanks for visiting.

  10. This is hilarious Debbie! What a great way to start the morning…as I lie here under two fans, trying to cool off from a hot flash! Very funny! And true. Acceptance is the best way to go. I can be pissed off that I’m getting older, but the clock still keeps ticking away. It sucks getting old, but it is what it is. Fun post!

    1. Glad you enjoyed it, Michele. 🙂 Yup; it sure is what it is, whether we like it or not! 😛 It’ll be the BIG 6-0 for me in January. What shocks me most is how fast the time passed! I feel for you with the hot flashes; wild yam supplements helped me manage those and they seem to have stopped now.