GRAVITY! AN ODE TO AGEING

SUNG TO THE TUNE OF THE BEE GEES’ “TRAGEDY”

Here’s the original, to give you the melody.  

♫♫♫ GRAVITY ♫♫♫

 Here I am

At the mirror, slowly looking down

What is this?

Such a vision makes me truly frown!

Sagging boobs

Expanding waist and all, what else?

I really should be grateful though

Grateful though

Oh hell no, oh hell no!

gravity leads to saggy boobs!

[CHORUS]

Gravity!

 With the face collapse and the drooping ass

It’s gravity!

When the image shocks and the mirror mocks

It’s hard to bear

There’s no going back and it’s all so unfair!

Gravity!

When your daily goal is to gain control

It’s gravity!

When the image shocks and the mirror mocks

It’s hard to bear

There’s naught you can say and it’s all so unfair!

gravity is not your friend!

[INSTRUMENTAL BREAK]

What to do

Go for Botox or the surgeon’s knife?

Not for me!

Just accept that this is part of life

Here I stand

Expanding waist and all; oh well!

I really should be grateful though

Grateful though

Oh hell no, oh hell no!

getting old is hard

Gravity!

[REPEAT CHORUS]

©D.D.B. 2014 (except as noted)

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We’re all getting old and that sucks, but acceptance works better with humour, yes?  Besides, it sure beats the alternative!  

Truth be told, if there was money to spare, I’d be looking into some Juvederm or Restylane treatments to counteract the collapsing face.  Unfortunately, the results only last about 6 months or so and you’d have to keep it up.  

What’s YOUR take on ageing?

Looking forward to your comments!

Image credits: 1. Laugh Lines    2. This Little Light of Mine    3. USA George

Debbie

The “Doglady”. Canine Innkeeper in suburban Toronto, Canada. Writer/blogger, animal lover, music fanatic, inveterate traveller. History, literature & cinema buff. Eternal hippie/rockchick. Bi-national, German/Canadian and multilingual. Currently working on a memoir of the dogs she has known during her years as a pet sitter, along with other memoirs and creative writing pieces.

Debbie

Debbie

Debbie

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32 Comments

Filed under Ageing, Ditzy Ditties, Humour, Life

32 Responses to GRAVITY! AN ODE TO AGEING

  1. Hilarious! Its strange how we yearn to ‘grow up’ as a kid – mostly to be able to do things we are not ‘allowed’ to and suddenly when ‘old’ we want to look younger! There is nothing sadder than trying to physically try to continue looking as if in the twenties. Its better to focus on staying fit, mentally alert and content. Great post :)
    Archana recently posted…Tedious Yet Satisfying!My Profile

    • I agree for the most part, Archana, although I would love to look somewhat younger, like before the face started giving in to gravity. LOL Not willing to do anything painful or overly expensive though, so best to just try and age gracefully. Glad you enjoyed this and thanks for visiting.
      Debbie recently posted…WRITING ABOUT WRITING My Profile

  2. Hey Debbie,

    That’s so funny and since I know the tune well I was singing along. Loved it.

    Yep, we’re all getting old and there is no turning back the clock. I was talking to a neighbor of mine about this the other day who just happens to be in a network marketing opportunity of course for health products. One of the ones she promotes is about something that can help tighten the skin and yes, you have to keep applying it but it’s not as expensive as some I’ve seen and we have to keep doing moisturizers anyway right!

    I don’t have a problem with aging but I do have a problem with having inherited my Dad’s side of the family partially in my face. Just trust me when I say my Dad’s mom was NOT a pretty woman and I do NOT want to look like that but I’m headed that direction if I don’t do something about it. Not trying to turn back time but I’m just trying to prevent looking like either of them. Love them dearly but…

    ~Adrienne
    Adrienne recently posted…How To Learn From A SuperheroMy Profile

    • Hi Adrienne; Yes, there are some potions and lotions that can help a little. I like the Oil of Olay Wrinkle Eraser, myself. It really does soften the crows feet and others lines and my moisturizer also has a tightening agent. Hope yours gets the desired results as well. :) Kind of scary when you get an unflattering preview of what you might look like later in life. My mother kept her good looks into her 80s, so. here’s hoping! Thanks for visiting and have a great weekend.
      Debbie recently posted…SUNLIGHT – PHOTO FRIDAYMy Profile

  3. That’s hilarious :) Lots of fun actually. Aging is part of the game, and we’ll be better off playing it with grace and style!
    Beloo Mehra recently posted…“Flower in the Crannied Wall”My Profile

  4. I love this Debbie! I’ve read a version of this and sung it to that tune. And yes, I sang it again now.

    My take on ageing? I am showing it the middle finger. Age ain’t nothin’ but a number, babe! :D

    P.S.: Thanks for sticking that Bee Gees song in my head now! Hmph!
    Vidya Sury recently posted…Raising Teens, Lessons LearnedMy Profile

    • Glad you enjoyed it, Vidya! :) Yeah, age is just a number and I’m giving it the middle finger too, but, it’s giving it back to me. LOL As for the song, I know, it’s catchy enough to stick in your head. We call songs like that “ear worms”. Just start dancing. ;) Thanks for visiting.
      Debbie recently posted…SUNLIGHT – PHOTO FRIDAYMy Profile

  5. Mama always said — you’re old when your chin touches your boobs…
    your boobs touch your tummy…and your tummy touches the floor.

    OMGOSH, I hope I’m not livin’ that long!

    Great, funny post. xx
    My Inner Chick recently posted…5 Reasons My Life Is Like “Orange Is The New Black”My Profile

  6. Now that is originally funny. :D
    My take on aging is to have you ask me next year when I turn the big 5-0.
    Until then, I leave you with a quote from a mediocre Popeye cartoon: You’re as old as you feel young.
    G.B. Miller recently posted…Summertime Is Where You Want To BeMy Profile

  7. You’re too much Debbie! I couldn’t stop laughing out loud over here! I love the poem and I can totally relate! I’m noticing more grey hair and wrinkles. The boobs are still in place but I know it won’t be long before gravity starts to take its toll! LOL

    Oh and I love the song! I know he wasn’t a big part of the BeeGee’s but I loved me some Andy Gibb!
    Corina Ramos recently posted…Make Money From Home As An Internet ResearcherMy Profile

    • Hi Corina! :D Glad you enjoyed this. You’re a lot younger than me, so you have some time yet. I remember Andy Gibb well. He had a beautiful voice, like his older brothers. This song was always a favourite as well. Thanks for visiting and have a great rest of the week.
      Debbie recently posted…SUNLIGHT – PHOTO FRIDAYMy Profile

  8. Isn’t the worst part about getting older is that you don’t ‘feel’ or ‘think’ any older? When I look in the mirror sometimes I am shocked and wonder who that old lady is. I loved the song and the cartoon measuring the boobs. I once was told (when I turned 60) that you know you are old when you kneel down and your boobs hit the floor before your knees do.
    Carol Graham recently posted…10 Best Excuses Not To Do SomethingMy Profile

  9. Debbie, that is hilarious. Seeing her measure the downward slope of her boobs is one of the funniest aging chuckles I’ve seen. I color my hair and try to whiten my teeth, but am almost giving up on the spreading waistline and butt. I’ve begun buying shorts in men’s department because they fit my waist/hip ratio better ANDhave more room in the crotch. I’ve always hated tight pants in my crotch (I’m so delicate). Won ‘t try any if the facial stuff -as you say, it’s all temporary and expensive, PLUS, until they come up with decent neck and back-of-hand remedies, the face stuff is worthless because hands are a dead giveaway!!

    Wish I could get rid of our mirrors, but they are necessary for some things.

    Great post :-)
    Sammy d recently posted…Sum-Sum-Summer TimeMy Profile

    • Glad you enjoyed this little ditty, Sammy! Yes, we all make certain adjustments and tight pants are damn uncomfortable. A delicate area for everyone. :D I switched from shorts to capris a couple of years ago, about the same time I quit dyeing my hair. Fortunately, that turned out well and it’s great to be free from the drudgery. Oily skin and being “pleasantly plump” (I think they call it “fluffy” these days LOL), helps keeps the wrinkles manageable, but what I hate the most is the crinkling on either side of the chin and the drooping, jowly effect from the collapsing face. UGH! :P Banish the mirrors – great idea! It was so nice to see you here. Thanks for taking the time and have a great week.
      Debbie recently posted…SPIDERS ON DRUGS My Profile

  10. LOL :D That was fun and hilarious too.I agree, accepting the limits, accepting yourself is the key. Ageing gracefully should be the mantra!
    Shilpa Garg recently posted…The HelplineMy Profile

  11. There is still lot of time for me to worry about getting old :P and I agree with what Kalpana said. Life is to be lived, not measured!
    Swathi Shenoy recently posted…Escape into Fantasy Land!My Profile

  12. I’m not getting old, I’m becoming more senile!

  13. Cathy
    Twitter:

    What a hoot, Debbie! I couldn’t help singing the lyrics. I used to love the Bee Gees. My kids thought I was nuts. You crack me up!
    Cathy recently posted…UBC Day 7 – The Three CsMy Profile

  14. What a great write-up Debbie.
    All the artificial treatments only last for a small period of time but what should get wider with age is the smile on the face. Smile with sagging bodies , grey in the hair and let the world know that life is to be lived and NOT measured.
    kalpana solsi recently posted…party : haikuMy Profile

  15. This is hilarious Debbie! What a great way to start the morning…as I lie here under two fans, trying to cool off from a hot flash! Very funny! And true. Acceptance is the best way to go. I can be pissed off that I’m getting older, but the clock still keeps ticking away. It sucks getting old, but it is what it is. Fun post!
    Michele Truhlik recently posted…A Friendly Moray Eel Provides Proof of EmotionMy Profile

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