STAYIN’ ALIVE AFTER 45! #ANNIVERSARY.

33 CommentsAgeing/Aging, Anniversary, Life, Memoir, Relationships

IT WAS 45 YEARS AGO TODAY! WHERE DID THE TIME GO?

Catholic wedding ceremony

When we got married, there was opposition from all sides and one of his aunts even cursed us! We had been living together and decided to get hitched on impulse. I had an anti-marriage bias, and this was a “now or never” type of situation.
With only two months’ lead time, we managed to pull together a formal Italian-style reception, complete with live band and multi-course feast.
Everyone had a blast!

fake weddding announcement

[generated by fodey.com]

Here’s how it all began:

~~~~~~~~

PROLOGUE

FADE IN:

EXT: Parking lot of the local hangout, an Italian espresso bar/billiard parlour.
It’s a sunny and mild Sunday afternoon in March 1971.

Several males and two females are engaged in conversation,
surrounded by the latest muscle cars of the era.

PARKING LOT HANGOUT 1970S
commons.wikimedia.org

LESLIE, a lanky short-haired blonde, is grieving the recent breakup of her relationship.

DEBBIE, of average height and build, with long auburn hair, is a free agent,
juggling several suitors and taking none of them seriously. She too has had
her heart broken recently and doesn’t want to get involved with anyone.

A black Camaro pulls up and two males get out.

FRANK, the mustachioed driver is of medium height and slight build,
with light brown hair in a fashionable “shag” haircut.

ANGELO, slightly shorter and more muscular, is clean shaven,
with a swarthy complexion, hazel eyes and dark, shoulder-length hair.

They join the group.

FRANK
Meet my old friend from Italy. We used to play soccer together.

LESLIE
Hi. What’s your name?

ANGELO replies and LESLIE pulls a sour face.
That is also the name of her despised ex-boyfriend.

DEBBIE laughs (at LESLIE).

ANGELO grabs her arm, scowling.

ANGELO
(in a heavy Italian accent)
What’s so funny ’bout my name?

DEBBIE pulls her arm away, thinking “what an asshole!”

They glare at each other.

angry couple

FADE OUT

~~~~~~~~

Yes, I met the love of my life 47 years ago. He had moved here directly from Italy a few months earlier and barely spoke English. We took an instant dislike to one another, which made for an awkward situation, as we shared the same social circle.

Slowly, we became platonic friends, but our relationship took a more romantic turn when he asked me out on a date that October. One night and we were both completely besotted!

Lovebirds, Jan. 1973
January 1973

The following year, I informed my parents I wouldn’t be following their plan for college. (A big fight ensued, but it was my life, after all.) I found a job to earn my keep. Nothing glamorous; cashier at a bakery, but it gave me some independence.

A few months later, my sweetie and I rented an apartment. What fun to set up housekeeping together! We decided to get married in the summer and picked the first weekend of August, almost two years after that famous first date.

As mentioned above, this met with disapproval and objections. My parents came around when they saw we were going ahead without them.

[click on images to enlarge]

There have been many ups and downs over the years, but we always made it a point to celebrate our anniversary. Some have been more memorable than others.

In the first decade, there were house parties that lasted long into the night and sometimes even the next morning. Those were the Halcyon days!

1st anniversary 1974
1st Anniversary party, 1974 

We celebrated our 10th, 20th and 25th anniversaries in Niagara Falls (only 93 km. = 58 mi. from home), at the Love Boat Restaurant, a favourite haunt for over 30 years.

10th & 25th Anniversaries

The biggest and best anniversary to date was our 40th, which consisted of a month-long jaunt through Europe, including a two-week tour of Greece, plus visits to Hubby’s birthplace in Italy, and mine in Germany.

40th anniversary trip
40th Anniversary, Athens, 2013

I didn’t think we could top that, but this year, we’ll be flying to Barcelona on Sept. 6, then embarking on a 24-day Meditteranean and Adriatic cruise, winding up with family in Rome for a few days.

Life is short and memories are precious. Time to make some more!

45th anniversary trip

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HA! They all said it wouldn’t last. We showed them!

Want to know the secrets of our success?

Read some solid advice on the subject, plus some interesting anecdotes HERE.

More memories HERE.

1973 & 2013

To my ever-lovin’ other half I say:

HAPPY 45TH ANNIVERSARY, SCHATZ! ♥

♫♫ “OH, HOW WE DANCED ON THE NIGHT WE WERE WED” ♫♫

First dance, wedding aug, 4 1973

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In your opinion, are long-term relationships the norm or the exception?
(In Canada, one in four marriages ends in divorce)

Do you think marriage is still important in modern society?
(Here we have “common-law” marriage  after one year of co-habitation)

Do you enjoy celebrating special occasions?
(Low-key or all out?)

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33 thoughts on “STAYIN’ ALIVE AFTER 45! #ANNIVERSARY.

  1. Oh how wonderful to read the history of your relationship! What a beautiful couple – as I said before – like a popstar couple getting married. A very good-looking pair. And thanks for the Moody Blues in the last post I read and now the Bee Gees and Tom Jones. I’m driving MY poor husband mad as he doesn’t like either (likes the Moody Blues though). Better get the headphones if I want to reach OUR next anniversary?. The theme of parental disapproval is interesting. When the Italians came to the UK to work back in the 70s, neither UK nor Italian parents wanted their offspring to fraternise with ech other. Oh my goodness there were some battles between families back then. My friend had her heart smashed to pieces when the love of her life gave in to his parents and married an Italian girl. Her parents were very relieved but she never really got over that – I’m sure she still thinks of him even now. How lovely that you both stood your ground.

    1. Thanks again for the lovely compliment, Gilly! ♥ If only we still looked like that. Hahaha! Time marches on…
      How sad that your friend’s boyfriend couldn’t withstand the parental pressure and follow his heart! I know a few such stories. Italian parents seem to have a death grip on their children’s lives. It was different for my husband. He left home (in the Bari area) at 16 to go to school and work in North Italy, so he was completely independent. I was a rebel from a dysfunctional family and didn’t much care what my parents or anyone else thought. Still am. 😀

  2. That is an awesome story and a superb record of conjugal lifespan. When you got hitched I was all the while worrying that I’d never find a sweetheart. At that point a couple of years after the fact I was hitched however just for a couple of years. All things considered, I continued attempting. Seeing someone, I figure we never recognize what the result will be.

  3. 45 years. Holy smokes! Congratulations! I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone I could stand for longer than 45 minutes let alone 45 years! Haha. – Omgosh. You know I love your photos because you two are the coolest of cool. I love your dress on your first anniversary but his platform, two tone shoes on your wedding day?? Perfection. 🙂

    1. Thank you, Mimi! 😀 To be considered “cool” is a supreme compliment in my eyes. It hasn’t been all hearts and flowers, but we were determined to make it work. They sure had some fun fashions in the ’70s!

  4. I love your trips down Memory Lane, Debbie. Forty years is awesome. It will not be long until you make 50. I think that one has a special name, like gold or silver.

  5. Debbie,

    Congrats on 45 years of marriage! I think it’s wonderful to find those who make it through the storms of time which takes commitment on both parts. I applaud you and Angelo for weathering those waves together. Oh yeah, the way you guys initially butted-heads (with your strong heritages, I’m sure that didn’t stop) makes me think of a romantic flick where you know instantly the boy and girl would fall head-over-hills in love.

    We usually keep our anniversaries low-key, either I will cook a special meal or we’ll dine out in a nice restaurant. We try to get each other some little something to mark the occasion. Personally, I don’t need anything but DH is so sweet to get me just something really sweet. I couldn’t be more blessed! Our 40th is next year, so maybe we need to plan something a bit more spectacular. 🙂

    Your anniversary trip sounds fabulous and I know you’ll make plenty of memories together. Hopefully, you’ll have your camera in tow snapping lots of pictures to share with your friends in Blogosphere. Thanks for sharing, my friend. Have a great week! 😉

    1. Hi Cathy; Thanks! Yup, our life has been like one of those romantic comedies, with some “film noir” thrown in. 😀 You definitely should do something special for your 40th. That’s a major milestone not many achieve nowadays. We are pretty excited about this trip. I have stocked up on extra batteries and memory cards for the camera. All set!

  6. But will it last the next 45? Where is my wink emoji? Of course it will, it’s just living past the century mark that may give you a bit of trouble.
    I love your wedding dress. I think finding a partner in this world is one of the best things that can happen to any of us. Cheers to your happy day!

    1. Hahaha! We should be so lucky, although, I can’t imagine what 108 feels like. 😮 White was just too boring for me and I went all-out hippie. 😀 We definitely were lucky to find each other. Thanks, Ann.

  7. Congratulations on the 45th wedding anniversary, DEBBIE! So very few marriages these days make it anywhere near that long, so you two really must have hit on some excellent relationship recipe.

    Cheers!!

    ~ D-FensDogG
    ‘Loyal American Underground’

    1. Thank you, Stephen. We got lucky and found each other early in life. It hasn’t all been hearts and flowers, but we have always been determined to work things out. There’s a link to an article I wrote in the post, outlining the secrets to our success. 🙂

  8. That’s a great story and a wonderful record of marital longevity. When you got married I was still fretting that I’d never find a wife. Then a few years later I was married though only for a few years. Still, I kept trying. In relationships I guess we never know what the outcome will be.

    Arlee Bird
    Tossing It Out

    1. Very true; nobody can predict the future and sometimes it takes a false start or two before you find the right person. I’d say we were lucky! 😀

  9. Aw, I love this post Debbie! Congrats to you and Angelo on a wonderful milestone anniversary, one that you’ll certainly be celebrating in style with that magnificent trip! BTW, you’ll be embarking on that journey on my birthday so it’s a good day…Will be a good trip. 🙂

    Thanks for sharing your love story. I really enjoyed all the photos. I can completely picture your meeting…I’ve been in that exact situational setting, a group of people hanging around all the cool cars, now muscle classics, chatting, laughing, (and usually drinking and smoking) while the seeds of new acquaintances are sown that will grow into budding new relationships… Ah, fun times!

    Your husband is a looker. He for sure would’ve turned my head at first meeting. I love how you guys had disdain for each other at the beginning. Did those family members, the ones who were against the union and were certain it would fail, ever come back and admit their misjudgment or apologize?

    You used some great words here that I really dig too, like ‘besotted’ and ‘halcyon’. New to me was that German term of endearment, ‘Schatz’. I like it! My uncle (by marriage) was German but I never heard that word…

    Great songs and music videos here too. I LOVE Stayin’ Alive and the Bee Gees in general. That video is back-in-time-travel wonderful! And the Tom Jones song had me swaying in my chair. I love the fabulous artwork in the video. (Off topic: Speaking of great art, have you seen the Isle of Dogs movie yet?? OMG it’s spectacular! Stop-motion animation at its best! And the theme and the political undertones are fantastic. Plus, it’s dogs, dogs, dogs! A Must See if you haven’t already).

    Thanks for kicking off my day with a great love story and some wonderful music.
    Have a great weekend. And again, HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!
    XOXO

    Michele at Angels Bark

    1. Hi Michele! 🙂 Thanks for reading our story and I’m glad you enjoyed it. Sure there was a lot of smoking and drinking going on in those days. You know me and vocabulary. 😀 I did a whole A to Z series about that if you recall. “Schatz” is a German endearment which translates to “treasure”. I’ve been calling my husband that for as long as I can remember. (And, he truly is!) Stayin’ Alive does bring back many good memories and I think Tom Jones sings The Wedding Song better than anyone else. Hmm, maybe I’ll do a BOTB with that, one of these days! I haven’t seen the Isle of Dogs, but thanks for the tip. We’re always looking for movies to see. Have a great week!

  10. Happy Anniversary, Debbie and Angelo! The day of your planned big cruise will come fast. Enjoy! Long-term relationships seem to be the exception according to statistics, in my family’s history they are the norm. Marriages are still important when it comes to laws regarding money and inheritances, otherwise modern society generally does not really care. My husband of 62 years and I mostly celebrated our anniversaries very privately, exception was the Golden Anniversary ( 50 years), we had a wonderful big outside party in Arizona with the help of a big crowd in a Camping community. Our state of health and our budget living in a Recreational Vehicle did not allow a big celebration at our 60th – but I have a facebook friend ♥ Debbie D. Doglady ♥, YOU hosted this day in facebook and at least 100 friends responded with wonderful comments, pictures and videos. It has been a landmark virtual celebration I always will cherish. Thank you, my friend! Wishing you and your husband health and happiness and everything else what is important to you! Hugs from Karin and Dieter.

    1. Thank you so much, Karin! ♥ My family also has a tradition of long-term marriages. I too think that is fairly rare nowadays. Sounds like you had a great time on your 50th Anniversary! 😀 Maybe that’s what we’ll do as well – have a big party. For now, travel is still our preference, but it’s more exhausting than it used to be.

      It was my pleasure to organize that virtual celebration for your 60th anniversary. I’m so glad it turned out well! Thank YOU for hosting a similar event for our 40th in 2013. ♥ The internet can be so amazing when it comes to connecting people!

  11. Such a lovely story, Debbie. So wonderful to read of long and happy marriages. What comes through is that both of you seem to be friends first and then partners.
    Have a lovely trip and many, many more years of love!

  12. I’ve been married twice. For less than 2 years when I was 21, mostly because my mother thought we should get married in we were going to live together. 6 years later, I started dating an old friend who I had first met when I was 17. We were “just friends” for all those years. When he suggested we’d been “just friends” for too long, I was reluctant to risk messing up a nice friendship, but I acquiesced. When I told my mother we were going to live together, she started giving me the same speech. This time, I knew better. He proposed after we lived together for 3 months. We were married 6 months later. Nothing fancy, but we went on a great honeymoon to Peru. That was in 1982. 36 years and 2 children later, I can definitively say, he was right. We had been “just friends” too long. We’re enjoying our empty nest years. Like you, we’re traveling as much as possible “while we still can”. Happy anniversary! ?

    1. Hahaha! If it was up to my mother, I never would have gotten married at all! Good thing I didn’t listen. 😀 And good for you, for following your own instincts the second time. Like us, you were friends first and I think that’s one of the keys to a successful relationship. You and “Mr. Excitement” are a shining example of that. Here’s to making many more good memories! Thank you, Suzanne. Cheers!