THE HORROR OF SUICIDE #WorldSuicidePreventionDay

43 CommentsFrom the Archives, Health and Wellness, Life, Mental Health, Write Tribe

THE HORROR OF SUICIDE #wspd

Have you personally known someone who committed suicide?  I have……

His name was Erich.
He had a successful career with a multinational manufacturing company.
Erich loved his job, his wife and his little Dachshund. He was a happy man.

One day, his world turned upside down and his heart was broken. Erich’s sweet little dog had to be euthanized at only seven years old, due to a broken spine. She was his baby and he mourned intensely.

As if that wasn’t devastating enough, the spectre of recession reared its ugly head and Erich was unceremoniously dumped by the company. Fortunately, he was hired by a distributor shortly thereafter and seemed to be recovering.

The cheery note returned to his voice and he claimed to be content with his new employer. This went on for five years.

Then came the call which shocked everyone. Erich had consumed an entire bottle of cognac and blown his brains out in the garage, with his hunting rifle.  His wife made the grisly discovery when she returned from a family visit.

There was no note, but everyone surmised that losing his dog and his job had caused a serious, festering depression that grew over time.

Similar to Robin Williams, nobody knew.

Erich was my boss from 1976 until 1981. When he was let go, the company promoted me to department manager. (Yes, I felt bad about that, but these are the harsh realities of corporate life.)

His new job at the distributorship kept us in daily contact by phone and he seemed perfectly normal. Obviously, the alcohol played a large part in his suicide and I always wonder if Erich would have pulled that trigger, had he been sober. Only his wife was privy to his personal demeanour. Business associates had no idea how tormented he truly was.

How does one predict whether or not somebody is at risk to commit suicide if there are no outward signs? This question has plagued me for years. According to various experts, there are always signs, some of them subtle.

suicide warning signs
suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

Stay connected to those you love and reach out whenever possible. Most countries have suicide hotlines and if you or anyone you know may be considering this, do not hesitate to call!

AFRICA
ASIA

EUROPE
NORTH AMERICA
OCEANIA
SOUTH AMERICA

worldwide suicide prevention hotlines
International Assoc. for Suicide Prevention (IASP)

On the one hand, it must take tremendous courage to end your own life. Can you imagine pulling the trigger, slitting your wrists, jumping off a bridge or tall building, poisoning or hanging yourself?

How many of us would even have the nerve? The despair has to be incredibly overwhelming and it saddens me to think that anyone could reach such depths. On the other hand, (cases of terminal illness excepted), it is the ultimate act of cowardice and selfishness.

Think of the fallout for those left behind; the horror, the guilt, the agony of loss!  Some problems that seem insurmountable, rarely are. Suicide is not the answer!

From the Archives, The Doglady's Den

Written for
Write Tribe’s Voices for Suicide Prevention Sept. 10, 2014.
Updated Sept. 10, 2019

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Have you known someone who contemplated suicide or actually carried it out?
Did you ever have such thoughts yourself? What stopped you?

Looking forward to your comments!

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43 thoughts on “THE HORROR OF SUICIDE #WorldSuicidePreventionDay

  1. My mother committed suicide when I was 23. Back then, mental illness was swept under the rug and even though there is more awareness today, suicides are too frequent and reasons not known.

  2. This subject is too close for comfort – my former husband, his brother and their father. All in quite a short timespan. All in Canada. One of them was a very high profile case because of the circumstances. I just thank God I had brought my sons to England and they did not have to deal with the fallout the way other’s did and, are still doing to this day. I won’t ever come to terms with it and I still cannot bear the word because of the feelings it drags up. Can’t get through the video. Thank you for writing this, I hope it helps someone. And I am so sorry about Erich. His poor wife, what an awful thing to discover.

  3. Debbie,

    It’s horrible. When my brother died in 2006, it was ruled as a suicide but I never bought into it. He was dealing with chronic neck pain with no cure and it would eventually claim his life the doctors told him but I think he took something, maybe the wrong combination of pain meds (street) for relief from the pain. Lack of judgement in that state of mind, he should not have been messing with his handgun which had a hair-trigger, easy to set off we learned. I believe he fell asleep and when he dropped his hand the gun discharged. That’s what I think happened. For a long time, another scenario played out in my head, one involving his wife and best friend who we learned months after his death was having an affair. I found peace with God’s help and know my brother is in heaven. He’s not suffering anymore. He was only 40. Thanks for sharing the story of your former boss. You just never know what’s going on in someone’s mind, do you? I hope anyone who’s suffering like this gets the help they need because it’s really hard on those left in the wake of these tragedies.

  4. How absolutely tragic Deb. Yes, I’m glad there is a dedicated day to recognize suicide prevention. There are alwayssss signs, it’s a matter of understanding, and taking the time to notice changes and mood swings in our loved ones. Great and important share Deb! <3

    1. Thank you! ? Yes, this is one of the few days I pay attention to. Erich’s suicide was a shock to everyone who knew him. I can only imagine the horror his wife must have felt! ?

  5. Dearest Debbie,
    Good to be back here.
    It pained me no end to read Erich’s journey.
    It’s heart-breaking how life’s challenges can bring us down to our knees and we succumb to our sufferings.
    I feel your pain and of all the others who have to live this harrowing life experience, once their loved one has given up on life.

    Thank you for writing out this post, Debbie. The awareness is so much needed.

    Sending you love and happy vibes. ♥️

    1. Welcome back, Natasha! 🙂 Everyone was shocked about Erich. None of his business associates had any idea what was going on behind the scenes. I can imagine the horror his wife must have felt, with the grisly discovery! ? Suicide seems to be more prevalent in modern society. Hopefully, by increasing awareness and publicizing helplines, etc. , it will save some lives. Thanks for coming by, Happy vibes are always welcome! ❤

  6. God! That must be so devastating for Erich’s family and friends. True, suicide is never the answer.
    We should all do our bit and help prevent it, by understanding the issues concerning suicide and mental health and in doing so we can help others in crisis, and make a difference. Thanks for this powerful post, Debbie!

    1. Yes; it was a shock to everyone! 🙁 Problem is, we can only assist someone in crisis if we see the signs that something is wrong. Unfortunately, that’s not always the case, as many people do not seek help. Sad! Thanks for coming by.

  7. Suicide is tragic, not just the act itself and the fallout, but the despair and helplessness that the person must have felt to be able to take such a drastic step. My oldest daughter’s best friend committed suicide when they were just 15 years old. I often think about what he would be doing now if he had lived and whether whatever felt so desperate at the time would even be an issue for him now. I can’t help him, but I do my best to be kind to everyone I meet and available to friends and loved ones that may need a listening ear or the support of a friend.

    1. Welcome to The Den, Christie! 🙂 Your daughter must have been devastated to lose her friend to suicide. I agree; whatever the issue was, likely wouldn’t have mattered, given time. Someone asked the question: “Why are people afraid to seek help?” If only we could figure that out, some of these tragic deaths could probably be avoided! Thanks so much for coming by.

  8. Life is too precious to contemplate suicide. Suicide is tragic. My heart goes out to Erich and those connected with him. How terrible that he had to decide taking his life was the solution to whatever he was going through.
    I’m sad to say I knew someone who contemplated suicide…and also someone who succumbed. It was devastating to lose a close friend. The one who considered it seems fine, but we keep a close watch.

    Powerful post, Debbie.

  9. Rarely do we know what goes on in a person’s mind. They may put up a brave, cheerful facade, but underneath all that bravado, there might live a person struggling with Life. We will never know what makes them pull the trigger, take the extreme step. Sad, indeed.
    I often wonder (when I read about suicides), as to why do we fear reaching out and seeking help. Is it that we worry about being ridiculed, or not making ourselves understood?

  10. I am still in shock over Anthony Bourdain.. Of all people.. Man, we just loved him.. Personally, I think the mental health issues need to be addressed – especially in this country – otherwise this senseless behavior will continue on the upswing, along with the school shootings, etc.

    1. I always find celebrity suicides shocking. On the surface, they had everything. How dark must their lives have been to end it all? 🙁 Mental illness does seem to be increasing. Byproduct of an ever-increasing disturbed world. Thanks for coming by, Mimi.

  11. Each person has a different personality and impossible to anticipate how they will deal with emotions. My parents were very strong and could never give up no matter what came their way. I’m the same way and hopefully I’ve instilled this strength in our children, but you never know…

  12. Like you mentioned, I think it would take amazing courage to commit suicide. I have been on the brink so many times myself but never quite have the courage to go through with it. I have thought of it a lot, but never have gotten far enough to actually do anything about it. I am always stalled by the thought that everything, including me, has a purpose. Nothing is by chance. So if that is the case, I must be meant to be here. One thing that always stops me is…what would become of my kids?? They would have no one. So I can never quite fulfill my own desire to be done.

    1. I’m saddened to know that you have considered suicide, Kathy. 🙁 Yes, you certainly DO have a purpose and you’re DEFINITELY meant to be here! Glad that you’re thinking of your kids. Wish I could come over there and give you a hug…..♥

  13. Hi Debbie,

    Once my friend told me about one guy who tried to commit suicide just because of his girlfriend rejected him. I mean how could he?
    Life is precious but people don’t live it freely. You will find many people who are fed up of their life and think to live no longer.
    It’s not easy to go away from this amazing world but some people can’t understand. I am amazed to know the signs you have mentioned above.

    It’s such an striking one.;)

    Hope you are having happy week.

    ~Ravi

    1. I’m always saddened when people feel so hopeless they want to end their lives. Nothing lasts forever and there are better solutions. Thanks for commenting Ravi and I hope you’re having a good weekend. 🙂 Apologies for the late response.

  14. Oh my goodness what a horrible story. My heart goes out to his family.

    A cousin of mine attempted suicide many years ago over a break-up with a girlfriend. Thankfully his parents took him to the doctor on time and entered him into a treatment facility for help.

    You’re right Debbie, it is important to stay close to our loved ones. Even check in on them or just pick up the phone and call to say hi. That goes a long way.

    Thanks for sharing this with us. Hope your week started out great!

    1. So glad your cousin was saved, Corina! I can only imagine the pain Erich’s family must have felt. Those of us who knew him professionally were also shocked, because his demeanour was always jovial. Thanks for visiting and have a good weekend. Apologies for the late response.

    1. Sorry it upset you, Carol. This is just a generic guideline put out by an anti-suicide organization. Not everyone exhibiting such symptoms is going to attempt suicide. Similarly, not everyone who attempts suicide exhibits those symptoms either. Hopefully, this person you are close to falls into the first category. Crisis hotlines should be able to offer advice if you have concerns. Wishing you all the best! Thanks for visiting.

  15. Sad when people settle down to their emotional baggage’s… the people who is left behind is so burden with the regret of not knowing what went wrong

  16. How tragic about your old boss, Erich! I, too, wonder about how low a person has to get to do such a terrible thing. I’ve been sad and depressed over things but don’t think I could ever kill myself. So hard on those left behind. Absolutely devastating.

    I especially feel sad when I hear about young people killing themselves. You hear about it more and more these days which is so heartbreaking. The aboriginal youth are especially vulnerable. I remember hearing about suicides when we lived up in the Arctic.

    Thanks for the warning signs list and the hotline numbers. Those are very useful and could save a life.

    1. Yes, it was such a shock what happened to Erich. I’ve been depressed on occasion and when I was young, would briefly entertain thoughts of suicide, but only after drinking too much. I couldn’t ever actually do that! Alcohol in large amounts acts as a depressant and I’m sure that’s what happened to my old boss.
      The statistics for young people committing suicide are shockingly high! 🙁 I’ve read that about Aboriginal youth and it seems their lives are terribly bleak. Hopefully, something can be done for them to improve their living conditions. Thanks for visiting, Cathy and sharing your thoughts.

  17. It’s really sad when lives are lost in this manner…And what is left is regret at not being able to know or notice…And as you said suicide also has ripple effects on family members and friends .. So one life lost is equal to many devastated

  18. Sadly, I had a close friend shoot himself, in a parking lot of a grocery store, over a failed relationship. He was a teenager, just three years younger than me… Happily, that is the only time I have ever been close to such action. One is too many, of course, but at the time this happened, I wondered to myself, how I would deal with this again and again, in the future.

    1. That’s so sad, Myke! 🙁 Glad to know you haven’t had to face another such incident. It’s the people left behind who suffer the most. Thanks for visiting.