Welcome to the third episode of “Monday Musings of an Old Broad”, a semi-regular feature. No telling what you might find here, as I ramble on!
#MondayMusings OF AN OLD BROAD | EPISODE 3: REGRETS 🤔🙄😩 #dogladysden #regrets #4M #MusicMonday
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Regrets.We all have them. How we deal with them is an individual matter. Personally, I agree with Frank!
(RELATED #4M PLAYLIST AT THE END)
Yes, I’ve definitely had a few, but always did things my way, for better or for worse. When you get to be my age (fast approaching 70!) you sometimes think about “what might have been”. On the other hand, our past experiences mould us into the people we are today.
Still, if only we knew then what we know now…
REGRET NUMBER ONE
My biggest regret is wasting two years chasing after a replacement for the corporate position I was “downsized” from in 1992. It was the most frustrating period of my life!
I was either over-qualified, under-qualified, over-educated, under-educated, or the wrong gender! Of course, one cannot prove such allegations, but female managers were scarce in the manufacturing sector, where the bulk of my experience lay. One asshole even had the nerve to ask me if I was willing to get my hands dirty! In my previous job as parts dept. and inventory control manager, a good amount of time was spent in the plant, doing that very thing. I should have worn my shop coat and safety shoes for the interview!
Finally, in self-defence, I started a home-based pet care business, which lasted for 27 years. (COVID killed it and I retired in 2021.)
After leaving the corporate rat race, the realization eventually hit me that my true personality had been stifled all those years. I had become a burnt out workaholic. Under no circumstances would I ever return to that treadmill!
REGRET NUMBER TWO
Another big regret goes back over 50 years. In my 20s, I tried to establish a writing career. It had been a childhood dream, but the constant rejections wore me down, so I gave it up. Earning a living became more important, and life’s challenges stifled creativity.
Thanks to the internet and the blogosphere, the muse has returned! They say, “it’s never too late” and here’s the great thing about writing:
Age doesn’t matter, as long as your mind stays sharp!
– Neglecting my teeth and gums as a young (and foolish) adult. I’m paying for it now, with quarterly torture sessions at the periodontist, (not to mention gum surgery, twice).
Smoking for 37+ years exacerbated the problem and I regret doing that, too. Young’uns take heed!
– Accepting a job offer strictly for the money. It turned out to be a terrible fit, and I was miserable, especially since the previous employer had been good in every way except financially. They refused my request for a raise, so I jumped ship.
Thankfully, another company I wanted to work for recruited me a year later and offered an even higher salary. Unfortunately, it was the catalyst for regret #1, six years later. Perhaps I should have stayed with the first employer all along!
Originally published May 2013. Updated Nov. 2015 and Oct. 14, 2024
SONGS ABOUT REGRETS AND HINDSIGHT. PLAYLIST FOR THE #4M MUSIC GROUP:
What are some of your regrets? How did you handle them?
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Dog Mom and (retired) Canine Innkeeper in suburban Toronto, Canada, known as The Doglady. Former corporate workaholic. Writer, photographer, digital creator. Animal lover, music fanatic, inveterate traveller. Eternal hippie/rockchick. History, literature and cinema buff. Hockey and soccer fan. Dedicated night owl. German/Canadian binational, multilingual. Let me entertain you!
97 thoughts on “#MondayMusings OF AN OLD BROAD | EPISODE 3: REGRETS 🤔🙄😫”
So much that I can relate to with your list. I’m not real big on regrets, but I get what you are saying about some of these.
One of my biggest regrets is that I didn’t get to know more of the older people in my life and listen to what they had to say and ask them questions about their lives. Now that I’m older I see the same things with the younger folks I encounter. Guess that’s the way it is and has always been.
I’ve definitely had my fair share of regrets, but I try to stifle them under the pile of things I have to do and my plans for the future! I don’t think I have enough space in my brain to process all of the things at once, so I try to make regrets the least of my worries. Admittedly, it doesn’t always work and the odd moping session comes around every so often, but my tactics are pretty effective most of the time. Like you, some of my regrets are job-related, although I was also lucky enough to have found something that suits me much better!
When I was in my early twenties, I really regretted deciding to not go to University from Senior School. I thought I had made a terrible mistake, and it made me quite bitter. Then when I was 27, I changed careers completely and became an EMT. I did that for over 22 years then went to work for the Police in London in the Special Operations division. After 34 years in the emergency services, I no longer regretted not going to University, realising I had been in good jobs that did great things for the community.
Best wishes, Pete.
There are many excellent careers that don’t require a university degree and you found your way, Pete. Thank you for your service! For me, not having a degree was a strike against, and likely one reason I couldn’t get another management job. They disregarded all those years of experience.
Debbie, “regrets, I have a few” just like you and if i could “turn back time” I would not have made myself as indispensable as I was. Part of the reason for that is what I witnessed at home. My father, whom I think I’ve mentioned was born in Germany and moved to Canada around 1950, could not keep a job (as a tool-and-diemaker) very long without imagining that someone was out to get him. The only time he had longevity in his various jobs was if the company was a German manufacturing plant i.e. German owners especially but then ultimately someone would make him angry, insult him, etc. and I’d come home from school to find his car in the driveway, his big toolbox in the back seat. So I am surprised he lasted at Ford (Oakville) as long as he did, but he had a good job and wanted to come to the U.S. to make more money – sigh, only to quit the job a few months later. As I was growing up I watched my mom type his résumé so often she once quipped she knew it by heart. Then when I got a typewriter, or once in the workplace, on my lunchhour at work, I’d be typing the *&^$ thing – each one was tailoremade for the position. I vowed I would be like him, but instead a “steady Eddie”-type of employee, not the hothead that my father was. I over-compensated which was to my detriment, especially my last boss … we were busy, but that was mostly because he couldn’t form one paragraph without rewriting it countless times. I brought work home – never was paid for it. My mom said I was stupid to work so hard without being paid and for what – did he say “thank you?” Mostly no.
I am disappointed I did not use my B.A. degree in Mass Communications, but now my blog compensates for that love of writing.
I am sorry that when my only living relative (my mom) passed away, since I was unemployed anyway, that I did not travel and see the world, the rest of the places on my bucket list. People have said it would have been in bad taste to do so after my mom’s passing, but I don’t think it was. I wish I had done that, enjoyed myself, then settled into a good-paying job where my skills were appreciated, then retired when the COVID pandemic began. Too late for any of that now!
That’s a sad story about your dad, Linda. 🙁 Ford offers better pay and benefits than any other manufacturer here and it’s too bad he didn’t stick it out. We could have been real-world friends! 🙂 Many of us have employment-related regrets, yet we survived. Travelling after someone dies can be a good way to cope with the grief. After my mother died, hubby and I went on an epic 45th anniversary cruise. No guilt feelings there! My mother and I had a rocky relationship, and there wasn’t much grieving going on.
Despite all, it sounds like you’re enjoying your retirement now, communing with nature, etc. COVID forced retirement upon me in 2021, but I didn’t really mind, since hubby also retired (by choice) that same year.
Yes, my father was a malcontent all the time and he wanted to come over here so badly … leaving a good job at Ford Motor Company to come here, for the almighty buck, but at what price? My father had no living relatives – he was from Germany. So my mom had her mother (her father was nothing special and died three years after we moved here), but was close to her, plus she had lifelong friends and had lived there all her life. He didn’t care and said “well we’ll stay 10 years and move back” but never did. He had no intention of ever doing that. Yes, we could have been real-world friends! In retrospect I wish I had traveled after my mom passed away as I could have asked my neighbor to watch the house … her son lives there now but he would not be the one to ask. I don’t think I will ever travel again — it is not the same as years ago and you’ve been on cruises as have I and back then I’d never heard of things like noroviruses. Traveling was so simple and I took it for granted. I am happy with my retirement and communing with nature. The last two weeks I’ve had this contractor at the house – he gutted a big portion of the backyard in anticipation of next year when I will be planting another butterfly garden. I enjoyed my first one and hope it will look like the last one as I put my heart and soul into it – something to enjoy, take photos of, maybe sketch/paint and, the way crime is around here and crazy drivers, some times it will be nice to be a homebody. I hope things here do not come to that especially after November 5th.
I agree with you about travelling! It’s more difficult, less comfortable and outrageously expensive now. 😫 I’m glad we crossed off most of the bucket list before the Pandemic came along. And we have our rescue dog, whom we love dearly, and wouldn’t want to leave for any length of time. She’s fun to take along on road trips, though! 😀
Your idea for a butterfly garden sounds lovely! It will undoubtedly give you a lot of pleasure in years to come. 😎
Ah, regrets really are 20-20. Mine range from the mundane (two of them 1)drove over Hoover Dam, didn’t stop to take the tour. 2) Why didn’t I go to Europe before I became terrified of flying?) to my first job after college. That first job was a poor fit. I should have quit right away instead of sticking it out for a miserable year and then getting fired. How did I handle the latter? By finding a fantastic book, then brand new: What Color is Your Parachute? and doing the exercises. I used that book for a couple of subsequent job hunts over the years. But, in life, I was fortunate in so many ways. I enjoyed your Regrets playlist. Cat’s in the Cradle is possibly the best regrets song ever.
What a coincidence! I bought that book after losing my job too, but sadly, it didn’t help me find another one. On the other hand, I started a business instead that lasted for 27 years. Silver lining! 😀 Yes, Cat’s In The Cradle illustrates regret so well.
Love your Playlist and Happy Thanksgiving! We had our turkey last weekend because my friend, VJ was here. I realize more and more I don’t really have regrets because I feel I had to learn from it. There are some choices that people would look at me and wonder how could I possibly not regret that action but, I don’t! The only one that I wish I would have done differently was how I was with my dad. When I was in my teens, he was in his 60s. When I was 16, he was 67 and he couldn’t understand a girl in this modern world he grew up rough and thought I should be able to run an entire household, cook, and cut the grass etc… which I could do but I rebelled. I didn’t like him at times…I loved him deeply but when you’re called a lazy son if a bitch; I’m not paying you to sit on your ass or you’re good for nothin’ lazy sob. Well, yeah, I mouthed back and I wouldn’t help him when he came home with the groceries. He was in constant pain but I would be passive aggressive. On the other hand, he would tell me that I was a beauty and to not listen to the kids. I had brains and he would take his large hand and comfort me by patting my shoulder. He often said he was proud of me so, I think, we were alike, and he just didn’t know how to handle me. We got closer just before he died and, I know, he was very proud of me and my strong mind. So, that’s one I wish I could go back and just help him with the groceries.
Happy belated Thanksgiving to you, Birgit! 🙂 Yes, past mistakes are learning experiences and shape who we are. That’s a bittersweet story about your dad. Even though he was harsh about some things, he was tender, too. I’m glad you got closer in the end.
Dealing with chronic pain would make travel more difficult, but thanks to the internet, we can do more “armchair travelling” these days. I found a site that has some spectacular views: https://www.p4panorama.com/
I love this post well done you and you deserve praise for forging on.
I regret not travelling more when I was younger..
Hey I got married at 17yrs and I don’t regret that! 53yrs and counting!
I regret not going to more rock concerts!
I had children young and I don’t regret that!
I regret not writing earlier.
I lived a busy life with grief and joy but I don’t regret that .
I am 71yrs but I don’t regret that…well sometimes I do….
I love every song you’ve picked!
Here’s one more .
Thank you so much, Willow! And congrats on 53 years of wedded bliss. 🥂 I don’t regret getting married young either (18 for me). We celebrated our 51st anniversary two months ago. Next birthday I’ll be 70, so we have a few things in common. 🙂 It sounds like you’re content with your life overall, and that’s a wonderful feeling! Perfect song for the topic as well. Thanks for that too.
We do have a lot in common including musical taste. I hope you enjoy your next birthday..
Age is only a number after all!
Keep on being young at heart and love life 💜
We all have regrets. I did what I was supposed to do and I’m happy about that. I was fortunate to retire before Covid. There are so many that lost great jobs because of Covid.
We all have those “what if” moments and while I’m guilty of dwelling on them, I prefer to believe past decisions is what we needed then to be who we are now. I don’t think I would be nearly the happy person I am today. It would be grand if young folks listened to the teachings of those who learned the hard way but that’ll never happen as we know. They have to walk through the many trials of life the same way that we did. Although, I don’t do much real writing anymore Blogosphere is a great outlet to publish without rejection. We are sharing with many who have/had the same dream. The money that comes with being a published author sounds nice but the gratification for putting your words out there is always there and probably more fun because we’re not under any pressure. Have a boogietastic week, Debbie!
I agree with you, Cathy! 🙂 Life is one big learning experience, and we are shaped by our past. And yes, blogging fulfils a lot of creative needs. I have looked into publishing and it seems more complicated than it’s worth. Most of the authors I know don’t make a lot of money from it and they have other jobs to pay the bills.
I think all adults have regrets. It is great that you started your dog sitting business. I see you are working on a book about it, Adventures in Dog Sitting. I assume you are going to publish it. I am looking forward to reading it.
Thanks, Thomas. 🙂 I’ve been working on this book off and on for at least 10 years and haven’t finished it yet. 😆 It probably won’t get published anytime soon, (seems too complicated!), but you can read the chapters that are finished here on the blog.
I so identify with the job for good pay regret. I loved the job as well as the pay but the bosses were mean and irascible. I stuck it out for 6 months and then quit, vowing never to go back to work purely for money, ever again. In hindsight, I figure that this is a good lesson for us all. Sometimes we need to make our own mistakes to figure it out.
Nice to see you, Shailaja. 🙂 It’s never good to be motivated solely by money. In my case, the company I went to was one of my clients, so I already had a good business relationship with the owner and several employees. What a rude awakening it was to actually work there! 🙁
Generally, I write when the muse strikes, but, of course, the website is always looking for new material. Photography and music fill it out nicely. (Two other obsessions!)
I can understand how personality changes in a bad workplace. And along with me, the family too suffered. It’s a good thing to listen your heart and for once do what it says 🙂 Glad that your writing and home business are going great 😀
Looks like I am the last one to read this wonderful post. It has got me thinking. As you said, we do so many things never knowing where our happiness lies. If only, I could go back two decades, I would have given priority to my health.
Hi, Mary; Yes, this post is a re-run, but still worthy, I think. 🙂 You’ve certainly made up for lost time in the writing department. I remember when your daughter came to visit – you were so excited! 😀
That last regret is a doozy and it worries me. Please don’t blame yourself for what happened to Russ. 🙁 He wasn’t in the best of health and it could have happened anytime.
Love this post Debbie. I guess we all have our own regrets but it is what you make with life and how you live it! Loved how you turned your life around and started your own business. And we sure can and should follow our passions, whatever the age!
Now I love your post. For reasons plenty. I can completely relate to the manufacturing sector thing with safety shoes, cause hello! I work at a car plant as a manager 😀 and Yes writing being our common connect, blogging has allowed us that dream to fly off just a little bit 🙂
Here’s to a life of no regrets from here on! *cheers*
A car plant would be a similar environment, Richa. 🙂 I was in the overhead crane industry. Definitely no more regrets at present and I am making up for lost time. Cheers to you!
I don’t have big regrets mostly because I can see how my mistakes have led me to this place or that. At least, that’s my thought right now. Come back to me in a few years (or a few minutes when things occur to me!) and I may have a different answer.
I agree; one missed opportunity often results in an even better outcome. Because I’m getting older, the wasted time aspect is my biggest regret, not that anything can be done about it. Thanks for visiting. 🙂
I also regret I didn’t stick with writing after my first couple of rejections. Blogging has been the fulfillment of a dream for me – I get to write what I want, when I want and I get to incorporate my photographs in my blogs. My other regrets? Deep down – I wish I had chosen a career that benefited my local community rather than chosen to work in the corporate world. When I was in my mid 20’s (this was around 1977) I was offered a job as secretary to the head of the YMCA in a city in Kansas where my husband and I then lived, due to his job. It paid peanuts, and I turned it down. But, I sometimes wonder what direction my life may have taken if I had started my work career in the non profit sector. I’ve thought about doing volunteer work at a nonprofit after I retire. I wonder how much of a culture shock it would be.
Sounds like we have a few things in common, Alana. 🙂 I suppose working for a non-profit would bring more personal satisfaction, but when you need to the pay the bills, that’s not of prime importance. That said, I make a lot less money now, but am much happier. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Oh, my list of regrets would be longer than my arm 😀 I have sulked and kicked myself in the past, but now I just think about them as great learning lessons. Thanks for sharing, Debbie 🙂
I used to have many, Debbie. But without meaning to sound trite, I’ve learned to see these mistakes as steps on my way to where I am today. For every wrong choice there seems to be a blessing that came out of it. And like you, I’m making up especially where my writing is concerned.
I completely agree with you, Corinne. Had we taken different paths, our lives would be much different today and not necessarily better. As the old adage says: “Every cloud has a silver lining.”
All of us have regrets, right? My prominent one is where I counted some not so good ones as my good friends and trusted my life with them. But I take it as part of life. And no, I can’t stop trusting people because there were 2 or 3 bad seeds. Maybe I will have more such regrets. 🙂
I’m glad your sense of trust remained intact, despite having bad experiences with friends. You’re right, these are fairly common and part of life. Here’s hoping you don’t have too many more, though
One thing I’ll never regret is having a good time in life, Shady. but agree that moderation is preferable. 🙂 I remember some boozy all-nighters (a few of them with my bosses), then going straight to work with no sleep. Brutal! Back then, corporate culture was swimming in alcohol and we all imbibed. Good for you for stopping all that unhealthy behaviour! Even more admirable that you did it cold-turkey. I had a helluva time trying to quit smoking, but it’s been 8 years since the last slip (I managed to break the carton a week habit in 2003, but would buy occasional packs in moments of weakness) and now the smell nauseates me.
I wonder why you have regrets about your education since you did have such exciting jobs, regardless. Were you planning on a different career that was dependent on getting better grades? I think employers put way too much stock in those pieces of paper and don’t look at the person behind them. (Spoken by someone with only one incomplete year of college 😉 )
No point dwelling on regrets, but they certainly make us wiser and can serve as inspiration for others.
Thanks for sharing your story, Shady. Have you ever thought of writing a memoir? Bet that would be a fascinating read!
Thanks for coming back, Shady. 🙂 No gremlins here today. Strange about the blog feed on your site; it tested as valid. Oh well!
Your explanation gives me a better understanding now. I think we all have some wasted opportunities to reflect on. Some of my early travel experiences come to mind. I was too young to fully appreciate everything and wish I could revisit some of those places.
Blog award posts are great for learning more about the person and I’ll be sure to check out some of yours. 🙂 Cheers!
Regrets…i guess we all have them. Of course, the longer we’re fortunate to live, the more we sort of have them. But the power of introspection is awesome and you sort of realise, although we’ve had regrets, we’ve also lived life pretty well. Thanks for sharing it with us, Debbie.
Regrets? Too many to count. However, I try and look at them as lessons now. We can’t change what happened, but we can alter our perspective. As a lesson, it will positively influence my future; as a regret, it will only make me bitter. Just my two cents. 🙂
Too many to count. You’ve read my book LOL. When my mind tends to wander in that direction, I make the choice of not going there. Those past mistakes we all make form the person we become. None of us would be who we are today without them.
I have many regrets, but am learning to let them go and enjoy my life and who I am now in spite of things I could or should have done differently. Not always easy, but I’ll get there. 🙂
In my own way I concur with many of those that you mentioned. I don’t think much about things I could regret. My philosophy is that if it happened in the past and there’s nothing I can do to change it now then forget about it. I’d like to think my experience might help younger generations, but they rarely listen. I know I didn’t.
I agree, one shouldn’t dwell on regrets, because as you said, there’s nothing you can do about them. Plus they shape who we are. Right again about young people not listening. I remember thinking I had all the answers too, but it doesn’t hurt to try. 🙂 I tend to get vocal about the smoking issue and now, the very smell nauseates me!
I regret not majoring in film and graphics. Instead, I flew as a stewardess for Pan Am… and actually led a life ripe for a movie.. so maybe that was the better alternative.
Wow! We share many of the same regrets! But I think it’s safe to say we’ve both learned to live with them and can bask in the freedom to just be ourselves – at last. 🙂 This has inspired some much-needed introspection and I’m very glad you shared!
You said, it Diedre! 🙂 The freedom to be ourselves is priceless. After being “lost” for almost two decades, this was a revelation to me. I’m glad you also found it inspirational.
Hey Debbie,
Regrets…!!! are those things which when comes, brightens your life only if we are ready to correct them. I mean we all have regrets at some or the other point in our lives when we realize our mistakes. So before regretting its important to realize the mistake. I mean any person has the right to regret only when he/she has the guts to correct them or not repeating that mistakes. 🙂
Thanks for such a great share. 🙂
Nice to meet you, Charmie and welcome to the Doglady’s Den. 🙂 Hindsight is always 20/20 and sometimes, we don’t realize the mistake until it’s too late to correct it. We can certainly make up for it and not repeat it. Thanks for visiting today!
I’m glad I dropped by to this post, made me see another person’s perspective on life’s mistakes and regrets. My own regrets are few and far between. One is my neglect to establish my career based on my profession. But this was due to surrounding circumstances at the time. At least I am happy the way my life turned out, with all the people I have touched because of my work in the past.
Hey Debbie! Glad to connect with you! I think we’ve all had our fair share…….but then again, had we not explored the path we were NOT supposed to be on, we’d never have known that the one we are on is the right one for us! Thanks for sharing!! And I am now thinking of a story to share on this!
Don’t beat yourself up over the teeth thing. I am SURE genetics has more to do with tooth decay than neglect. When young, I was a horrid patient and have had better dental visits than some folks I know who took great care of their teeth. I take good care of my teeth now but didn’t always. No one in my family has had dental problems. We all die young with a great set of teeth. 🙂
It’s more about the gums than the teeth, for me. My father also had gingivitis, so I agree about heredity playing a part. He and I were both heavy smokers though. I believe this was the catalyst, more than anything else. Thanks for visiting and sharing your thoughts. Hope you don’t follow your family’s tradition of dying young. 🙂
Regrets, I have many, but it is amazing we only notice them when it is too late. I wish I had said “no thank you” when I was 18, a voice told me to say it but I could not justify the words. My life could have turned out totally different. Would it have been better? I really don’t know. Then when I was 30 I wish I had said “no way will this happen here”. But I didn’t and I definitely regret the outcome. Then I wish I had at least tried for a different job back in 2000, but I didn’t. Today might be different. But I am an optimist and I believe the universe will not let me down…somehow I will find a way to change what could be better.
Sounds like you’ve been through some rough times, Mary. What’s done can’t be changed, but fortunately, we can control the present and the future. Thanks so much for your comments. Have a good weekend. 🙂
Regrets. We all have them, for some or the other reason, we all goof up along the way; but most of the times, what causes us to regret, makes us stronger. Love your post.
Ah yes… regrets. My biggest regret is that I left my dream of becoming a writer at a young age. Thank goodness I caught on – better late than never, no? Well-written, Debbie. 😀
I don’t have many but as a dog I live in the moment and don’t let the past and future drag me down. Mom regrets lots of things like not really trying to learn in school. She hated school and just wanted to finish. She wishes she had done more things on her layovers when she was flying but she has seen so much of the world it doesn’t matter all that much. I guess she has lots of other things but that could be a whole new blog – LOL!
Hi Emma; Dogs sure do have the right attitude. 🙂 Your mom seems pretty smart and I bet she has lots of great memories from her travels. Thanks for visiting and have a great weekend.
I have several regrets but the one I will never get over is not having my son in my life as he was growing up.
I was a single mom with a one year old and 3 month old and my son’s father’s parents offered to take care of him for me. From that point on I would occasionally see him.
By the time he came back into my life he was a teenager and in a lot of trouble. I always wonder if his life would have been different had he stayed with me. The good thing is he’s in my life now and we have a great relationship.
As far as my career regrets, I regret working so many hours and letting it affect my family the way it did.
That must have been terribly difficult for you, Corina. Glad things turned out well in the end. As for career; I too regret those workaholic years. Thanks for sharing your story. Have a good weekend. 🙂
Hi Debbie, interesting you bring this up. I was thinking a lot about this yesterday. I’d say mine are relationships and always wonder what if? I try to look ahead but sometimes looking back can happen – as it did to me yesterday by a song on the radio. I haven’t looked back with regret on career often as I always fell into what I liked doing along the way. Do you find as you get older looking back more than looking forward?
Music always takes me back, Lisa. 🙂 You were fortunate in your career. I thought I was doing what I wanted at the time. What an epiphany that was, in the end! Yes definitely, I think getting older makes us dwell in the past a little more. Thanks for reading and have a great day!
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97 thoughts on “#MondayMusings OF AN OLD BROAD | EPISODE 3: REGRETS 🤔🙄😫”
So much that I can relate to with your list. I’m not real big on regrets, but I get what you are saying about some of these.
One of my biggest regrets is that I didn’t get to know more of the older people in my life and listen to what they had to say and ask them questions about their lives. Now that I’m older I see the same things with the younger folks I encounter. Guess that’s the way it is and has always been.
Lee
That’s a good point, Lee! Older people have a lot of wisdom to impart, but sadly, we become “invisible” with age.
I’ve definitely had my fair share of regrets, but I try to stifle them under the pile of things I have to do and my plans for the future! I don’t think I have enough space in my brain to process all of the things at once, so I try to make regrets the least of my worries. Admittedly, it doesn’t always work and the odd moping session comes around every so often, but my tactics are pretty effective most of the time. Like you, some of my regrets are job-related, although I was also lucky enough to have found something that suits me much better!
No time for regrets is an excellent strategy. 🙂 And yes, you found the perfect vocation. Congrats on your writing successes, Damyanti! 🥂
When I was in my early twenties, I really regretted deciding to not go to University from Senior School. I thought I had made a terrible mistake, and it made me quite bitter. Then when I was 27, I changed careers completely and became an EMT. I did that for over 22 years then went to work for the Police in London in the Special Operations division. After 34 years in the emergency services, I no longer regretted not going to University, realising I had been in good jobs that did great things for the community.
Best wishes, Pete.
There are many excellent careers that don’t require a university degree and you found your way, Pete. Thank you for your service! For me, not having a degree was a strike against, and likely one reason I couldn’t get another management job. They disregarded all those years of experience.
Regrets, I’ve had a few. And I’m with Frank too. Lol. Good post Deb. 🙂 x
Yes, we all do, I’m sure. But we have to do things our way. 😉
Debbie, “regrets, I have a few” just like you and if i could “turn back time” I would not have made myself as indispensable as I was. Part of the reason for that is what I witnessed at home. My father, whom I think I’ve mentioned was born in Germany and moved to Canada around 1950, could not keep a job (as a tool-and-diemaker) very long without imagining that someone was out to get him. The only time he had longevity in his various jobs was if the company was a German manufacturing plant i.e. German owners especially but then ultimately someone would make him angry, insult him, etc. and I’d come home from school to find his car in the driveway, his big toolbox in the back seat. So I am surprised he lasted at Ford (Oakville) as long as he did, but he had a good job and wanted to come to the U.S. to make more money – sigh, only to quit the job a few months later. As I was growing up I watched my mom type his résumé so often she once quipped she knew it by heart. Then when I got a typewriter, or once in the workplace, on my lunchhour at work, I’d be typing the *&^$ thing – each one was tailoremade for the position. I vowed I would be like him, but instead a “steady Eddie”-type of employee, not the hothead that my father was. I over-compensated which was to my detriment, especially my last boss … we were busy, but that was mostly because he couldn’t form one paragraph without rewriting it countless times. I brought work home – never was paid for it. My mom said I was stupid to work so hard without being paid and for what – did he say “thank you?” Mostly no.
I am disappointed I did not use my B.A. degree in Mass Communications, but now my blog compensates for that love of writing.
I am sorry that when my only living relative (my mom) passed away, since I was unemployed anyway, that I did not travel and see the world, the rest of the places on my bucket list. People have said it would have been in bad taste to do so after my mom’s passing, but I don’t think it was. I wish I had done that, enjoyed myself, then settled into a good-paying job where my skills were appreciated, then retired when the COVID pandemic began. Too late for any of that now!
That’s a sad story about your dad, Linda. 🙁 Ford offers better pay and benefits than any other manufacturer here and it’s too bad he didn’t stick it out. We could have been real-world friends! 🙂 Many of us have employment-related regrets, yet we survived. Travelling after someone dies can be a good way to cope with the grief. After my mother died, hubby and I went on an epic 45th anniversary cruise. No guilt feelings there! My mother and I had a rocky relationship, and there wasn’t much grieving going on.
Despite all, it sounds like you’re enjoying your retirement now, communing with nature, etc. COVID forced retirement upon me in 2021, but I didn’t really mind, since hubby also retired (by choice) that same year.
Yes, my father was a malcontent all the time and he wanted to come over here so badly … leaving a good job at Ford Motor Company to come here, for the almighty buck, but at what price? My father had no living relatives – he was from Germany. So my mom had her mother (her father was nothing special and died three years after we moved here), but was close to her, plus she had lifelong friends and had lived there all her life. He didn’t care and said “well we’ll stay 10 years and move back” but never did. He had no intention of ever doing that. Yes, we could have been real-world friends! In retrospect I wish I had traveled after my mom passed away as I could have asked my neighbor to watch the house … her son lives there now but he would not be the one to ask. I don’t think I will ever travel again — it is not the same as years ago and you’ve been on cruises as have I and back then I’d never heard of things like noroviruses. Traveling was so simple and I took it for granted. I am happy with my retirement and communing with nature. The last two weeks I’ve had this contractor at the house – he gutted a big portion of the backyard in anticipation of next year when I will be planting another butterfly garden. I enjoyed my first one and hope it will look like the last one as I put my heart and soul into it – something to enjoy, take photos of, maybe sketch/paint and, the way crime is around here and crazy drivers, some times it will be nice to be a homebody. I hope things here do not come to that especially after November 5th.
I agree with you about travelling! It’s more difficult, less comfortable and outrageously expensive now. 😫 I’m glad we crossed off most of the bucket list before the Pandemic came along. And we have our rescue dog, whom we love dearly, and wouldn’t want to leave for any length of time. She’s fun to take along on road trips, though! 😀
Your idea for a butterfly garden sounds lovely! It will undoubtedly give you a lot of pleasure in years to come. 😎
Ah, regrets really are 20-20. Mine range from the mundane (two of them 1)drove over Hoover Dam, didn’t stop to take the tour. 2) Why didn’t I go to Europe before I became terrified of flying?) to my first job after college. That first job was a poor fit. I should have quit right away instead of sticking it out for a miserable year and then getting fired. How did I handle the latter? By finding a fantastic book, then brand new: What Color is Your Parachute? and doing the exercises. I used that book for a couple of subsequent job hunts over the years. But, in life, I was fortunate in so many ways. I enjoyed your Regrets playlist. Cat’s in the Cradle is possibly the best regrets song ever.
What a coincidence! I bought that book after losing my job too, but sadly, it didn’t help me find another one. On the other hand, I started a business instead that lasted for 27 years. Silver lining! 😀 Yes, Cat’s In The Cradle illustrates regret so well.
To the guy who asked if you were willing to get your hands dirty, you might have answered, “I’m willing to get them BLOODY…’
Haha! Great comeback. 😀
Love your Playlist and Happy Thanksgiving! We had our turkey last weekend because my friend, VJ was here. I realize more and more I don’t really have regrets because I feel I had to learn from it. There are some choices that people would look at me and wonder how could I possibly not regret that action but, I don’t! The only one that I wish I would have done differently was how I was with my dad. When I was in my teens, he was in his 60s. When I was 16, he was 67 and he couldn’t understand a girl in this modern world he grew up rough and thought I should be able to run an entire household, cook, and cut the grass etc… which I could do but I rebelled. I didn’t like him at times…I loved him deeply but when you’re called a lazy son if a bitch; I’m not paying you to sit on your ass or you’re good for nothin’ lazy sob. Well, yeah, I mouthed back and I wouldn’t help him when he came home with the groceries. He was in constant pain but I would be passive aggressive. On the other hand, he would tell me that I was a beauty and to not listen to the kids. I had brains and he would take his large hand and comfort me by patting my shoulder. He often said he was proud of me so, I think, we were alike, and he just didn’t know how to handle me. We got closer just before he died and, I know, he was very proud of me and my strong mind. So, that’s one I wish I could go back and just help him with the groceries.
Happy belated Thanksgiving to you, Birgit! 🙂 Yes, past mistakes are learning experiences and shape who we are. That’s a bittersweet story about your dad. Even though he was harsh about some things, he was tender, too. I’m glad you got closer in the end.
We can always look back and want to change things, but there is a reason our maker put our eyes where they are so we can look forward. Nice songs.
Happy Thanksgiving to you.
You can’t change the past, but at least we learn from it. 🙂 And thank you for mentioning Thanksgiving! Few Americans know ours is different.
My biggest regret is not seeing enough of this big ‘ol world when I was younger. Even if I was living with a chronic pain condition.
Dealing with chronic pain would make travel more difficult, but thanks to the internet, we can do more “armchair travelling” these days. I found a site that has some spectacular views:
https://www.p4panorama.com/
I love this post well done you and you deserve praise for forging on.
I regret not travelling more when I was younger..
Hey I got married at 17yrs and I don’t regret that! 53yrs and counting!
I regret not going to more rock concerts!
I had children young and I don’t regret that!
I regret not writing earlier.
I lived a busy life with grief and joy but I don’t regret that .
I am 71yrs but I don’t regret that…well sometimes I do….
I love every song you’ve picked!
Here’s one more .
Thank you so much, Willow! And congrats on 53 years of wedded bliss. 🥂 I don’t regret getting married young either (18 for me). We celebrated our 51st anniversary two months ago. Next birthday I’ll be 70, so we have a few things in common. 🙂 It sounds like you’re content with your life overall, and that’s a wonderful feeling! Perfect song for the topic as well. Thanks for that too.
We do have a lot in common including musical taste. I hope you enjoy your next birthday..
Age is only a number after all!
Keep on being young at heart and love life 💜
We all have regrets. I did what I was supposed to do and I’m happy about that. I was fortunate to retire before Covid. There are so many that lost great jobs because of Covid.
Have a fabulous day and week, Debbie. Big hug. ♥
Good timing for you, Sandee! 🙂 Yes, COVID wreaked havoc on many of us. I was happy to retire when I did, though. Thanks for coming by!
We all have those “what if” moments and while I’m guilty of dwelling on them, I prefer to believe past decisions is what we needed then to be who we are now. I don’t think I would be nearly the happy person I am today. It would be grand if young folks listened to the teachings of those who learned the hard way but that’ll never happen as we know. They have to walk through the many trials of life the same way that we did. Although, I don’t do much real writing anymore Blogosphere is a great outlet to publish without rejection. We are sharing with many who have/had the same dream. The money that comes with being a published author sounds nice but the gratification for putting your words out there is always there and probably more fun because we’re not under any pressure. Have a boogietastic week, Debbie!
I agree with you, Cathy! 🙂 Life is one big learning experience, and we are shaped by our past. And yes, blogging fulfils a lot of creative needs. I have looked into publishing and it seems more complicated than it’s worth. Most of the authors I know don’t make a lot of money from it and they have other jobs to pay the bills.
I think all adults have regrets. It is great that you started your dog sitting business. I see you are working on a book about it, Adventures in Dog Sitting. I assume you are going to publish it. I am looking forward to reading it.
Thanks, Thomas. 🙂 I’ve been working on this book off and on for at least 10 years and haven’t finished it yet. 😆 It probably won’t get published anytime soon, (seems too complicated!), but you can read the chapters that are finished here on the blog.
Thank you so much Debbie, I might do that. It would be nice to have in book form but I know it is a lot of work.
Hindisight is always 20/20, right? I’m sure you learned a lot through your mistakes! 🙂
I so identify with the job for good pay regret. I loved the job as well as the pay but the bosses were mean and irascible. I stuck it out for 6 months and then quit, vowing never to go back to work purely for money, ever again. In hindsight, I figure that this is a good lesson for us all. Sometimes we need to make our own mistakes to figure it out.
Glad you are writing, Debbie. So glad!
Nice to see you, Shailaja. 🙂 It’s never good to be motivated solely by money. In my case, the company I went to was one of my clients, so I already had a good business relationship with the owner and several employees. What a rude awakening it was to actually work there! 🙁
Generally, I write when the muse strikes, but, of course, the website is always looking for new material. Photography and music fill it out nicely. (Two other obsessions!)
I can understand how personality changes in a bad workplace. And along with me, the family too suffered. It’s a good thing to listen your heart and for once do what it says 🙂 Glad that your writing and home business are going great 😀
I agree, Raj. 🙂 Although the decision to leave wasn’t mine, it certainly worked out well in the end.
Looks like I am the last one to read this wonderful post. It has got me thinking. As you said, we do so many things never knowing where our happiness lies. If only, I could go back two decades, I would have given priority to my health.
Hi, Lata! 🙂 It appears this post has some new life! Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts.
Hi, Mary; Yes, this post is a re-run, but still worthy, I think. 🙂 You’ve certainly made up for lost time in the writing department. I remember when your daughter came to visit – you were so excited! 😀
That last regret is a doozy and it worries me. Please don’t blame yourself for what happened to Russ. 🙁 He wasn’t in the best of health and it could have happened anytime.
Love this post Debbie. I guess we all have our own regrets but it is what you make with life and how you live it! Loved how you turned your life around and started your own business. And we sure can and should follow our passions, whatever the age!
So true, Adit! 🙂 I was “lost” in the corporate world for almost two decades, but life is so much better now.
Now I love your post. For reasons plenty. I can completely relate to the manufacturing sector thing with safety shoes, cause hello! I work at a car plant as a manager 😀 and Yes writing being our common connect, blogging has allowed us that dream to fly off just a little bit 🙂
Here’s to a life of no regrets from here on! *cheers*
A car plant would be a similar environment, Richa. 🙂 I was in the overhead crane industry. Definitely no more regrets at present and I am making up for lost time. Cheers to you!
I don’t have big regrets mostly because I can see how my mistakes have led me to this place or that. At least, that’s my thought right now. Come back to me in a few years (or a few minutes when things occur to me!) and I may have a different answer.
I agree; one missed opportunity often results in an even better outcome. Because I’m getting older, the wasted time aspect is my biggest regret, not that anything can be done about it. Thanks for visiting. 🙂
I also regret I didn’t stick with writing after my first couple of rejections. Blogging has been the fulfillment of a dream for me – I get to write what I want, when I want and I get to incorporate my photographs in my blogs. My other regrets? Deep down – I wish I had chosen a career that benefited my local community rather than chosen to work in the corporate world. When I was in my mid 20’s (this was around 1977) I was offered a job as secretary to the head of the YMCA in a city in Kansas where my husband and I then lived, due to his job. It paid peanuts, and I turned it down. But, I sometimes wonder what direction my life may have taken if I had started my work career in the non profit sector. I’ve thought about doing volunteer work at a nonprofit after I retire. I wonder how much of a culture shock it would be.
Sounds like we have a few things in common, Alana. 🙂 I suppose working for a non-profit would bring more personal satisfaction, but when you need to the pay the bills, that’s not of prime importance. That said, I make a lot less money now, but am much happier. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Oh, my list of regrets would be longer than my arm 😀 I have sulked and kicked myself in the past, but now I just think about them as great learning lessons. Thanks for sharing, Debbie 🙂
Agreed; we can only learn from our regrets and carry on. Often, things work out for the best, regardless. 🙂
I used to have many, Debbie. But without meaning to sound trite, I’ve learned to see these mistakes as steps on my way to where I am today. For every wrong choice there seems to be a blessing that came out of it. And like you, I’m making up especially where my writing is concerned.
I completely agree with you, Corinne. Had we taken different paths, our lives would be much different today and not necessarily better. As the old adage says: “Every cloud has a silver lining.”
All of us have regrets, right? My prominent one is where I counted some not so good ones as my good friends and trusted my life with them. But I take it as part of life. And no, I can’t stop trusting people because there were 2 or 3 bad seeds. Maybe I will have more such regrets. 🙂
I’m glad your sense of trust remained intact, despite having bad experiences with friends. You’re right, these are fairly common and part of life. Here’s hoping you don’t have too many more, though
One thing I’ll never regret is having a good time in life, Shady. but agree that moderation is preferable. 🙂 I remember some boozy all-nighters (a few of them with my bosses), then going straight to work with no sleep. Brutal! Back then, corporate culture was swimming in alcohol and we all imbibed. Good for you for stopping all that unhealthy behaviour! Even more admirable that you did it cold-turkey. I had a helluva time trying to quit smoking, but it’s been 8 years since the last slip (I managed to break the carton a week habit in 2003, but would buy occasional packs in moments of weakness) and now the smell nauseates me.
I wonder why you have regrets about your education since you did have such exciting jobs, regardless. Were you planning on a different career that was dependent on getting better grades? I think employers put way too much stock in those pieces of paper and don’t look at the person behind them. (Spoken by someone with only one incomplete year of college 😉 )
No point dwelling on regrets, but they certainly make us wiser and can serve as inspiration for others.
Thanks for sharing your story, Shady. Have you ever thought of writing a memoir? Bet that would be a fascinating read!
Thanks for coming back, Shady. 🙂 No gremlins here today. Strange about the blog feed on your site; it tested as valid. Oh well!
Your explanation gives me a better understanding now. I think we all have some wasted opportunities to reflect on. Some of my early travel experiences come to mind. I was too young to fully appreciate everything and wish I could revisit some of those places.
Blog award posts are great for learning more about the person and I’ll be sure to check out some of yours. 🙂 Cheers!
Regrets…i guess we all have them. Of course, the longer we’re fortunate to live, the more we sort of have them. But the power of introspection is awesome and you sort of realise, although we’ve had regrets, we’ve also lived life pretty well. Thanks for sharing it with us, Debbie.
I agree, Sid. “What ifs” are moot and things have a way of working out in the end. 🙂
Regrets? Too many to count. However, I try and look at them as lessons now. We can’t change what happened, but we can alter our perspective. As a lesson, it will positively influence my future; as a regret, it will only make me bitter. Just my two cents. 🙂
So true and wise, Shantala. One shouldn’t dwell on regrets but learn from them, instead. Thanks for adding your two cents. 🙂
Too many to count. You’ve read my book LOL. When my mind tends to wander in that direction, I make the choice of not going there. Those past mistakes we all make form the person we become. None of us would be who we are today without them.
Yes, I have indeed read your book. So true, these experiences shape who we are. 🙂
I have many regrets, but am learning to let them go and enjoy my life and who I am now in spite of things I could or should have done differently. Not always easy, but I’ll get there. 🙂
Your “Ship Has Sailed” post was a great example for that Laurel and I love the idea of boarding another ship instead. 🙂
In my own way I concur with many of those that you mentioned. I don’t think much about things I could regret. My philosophy is that if it happened in the past and there’s nothing I can do to change it now then forget about it. I’d like to think my experience might help younger generations, but they rarely listen. I know I didn’t.
Arlee Bird
Tossing It Out
I agree, one shouldn’t dwell on regrets, because as you said, there’s nothing you can do about them. Plus they shape who we are. Right again about young people not listening. I remember thinking I had all the answers too, but it doesn’t hurt to try. 🙂 I tend to get vocal about the smoking issue and now, the very smell nauseates me!
I regret not majoring in film and graphics. Instead, I flew as a stewardess for Pan Am… and actually led a life ripe for a movie.. so maybe that was the better alternative.
A regret that obviously turned out well, Angelika. 🙂 You should write that movie!
Wow! We share many of the same regrets! But I think it’s safe to say we’ve both learned to live with them and can bask in the freedom to just be ourselves – at last. 🙂 This has inspired some much-needed introspection and I’m very glad you shared!
You said, it Diedre! 🙂 The freedom to be ourselves is priceless. After being “lost” for almost two decades, this was a revelation to me. I’m glad you also found it inspirational.
Hey Debbie,
Regrets…!!! are those things which when comes, brightens your life only if we are ready to correct them. I mean we all have regrets at some or the other point in our lives when we realize our mistakes. So before regretting its important to realize the mistake. I mean any person has the right to regret only when he/she has the guts to correct them or not repeating that mistakes. 🙂
Thanks for such a great share. 🙂
Regards
Charmie
Nice to meet you, Charmie and welcome to the Doglady’s Den. 🙂 Hindsight is always 20/20 and sometimes, we don’t realize the mistake until it’s too late to correct it. We can certainly make up for it and not repeat it. Thanks for visiting today!
I’m glad I dropped by to this post, made me see another person’s perspective on life’s mistakes and regrets. My own regrets are few and far between. One is my neglect to establish my career based on my profession. But this was due to surrounding circumstances at the time. At least I am happy the way my life turned out, with all the people I have touched because of my work in the past.
Glad things turned out well for you. Thanks for visiting. 🙂
Oh boy, regrets. They are always in hindsight. All you can do is learn from the past and keep moving forward.Kathy
I agree, Kathy. It’s always interesting when someone says they don’t have any. Fortunate, they are! 🙂 Thanks for visiting.
Hey Debbie! Glad to connect with you! I think we’ve all had our fair share…….but then again, had we not explored the path we were NOT supposed to be on, we’d never have known that the one we are on is the right one for us! Thanks for sharing!! And I am now thinking of a story to share on this!
I’m happy to connect with you as well, Michelle. You are so right! Would love to read your story too. Thanks for visiting. 🙂
Don’t beat yourself up over the teeth thing. I am SURE genetics has more to do with tooth decay than neglect. When young, I was a horrid patient and have had better dental visits than some folks I know who took great care of their teeth. I take good care of my teeth now but didn’t always. No one in my family has had dental problems. We all die young with a great set of teeth. 🙂
It’s more about the gums than the teeth, for me. My father also had gingivitis, so I agree about heredity playing a part. He and I were both heavy smokers though. I believe this was the catalyst, more than anything else. Thanks for visiting and sharing your thoughts. Hope you don’t follow your family’s tradition of dying young. 🙂
Hi Debbie
Regrets, I have many, but it is amazing we only notice them when it is too late. I wish I had said “no thank you” when I was 18, a voice told me to say it but I could not justify the words. My life could have turned out totally different. Would it have been better? I really don’t know. Then when I was 30 I wish I had said “no way will this happen here”. But I didn’t and I definitely regret the outcome. Then I wish I had at least tried for a different job back in 2000, but I didn’t. Today might be different. But I am an optimist and I believe the universe will not let me down…somehow I will find a way to change what could be better.
Mary
Sounds like you’ve been through some rough times, Mary. What’s done can’t be changed, but fortunately, we can control the present and the future. Thanks so much for your comments. Have a good weekend. 🙂
Regrets. We all have them, for some or the other reason, we all goof up along the way; but most of the times, what causes us to regret, makes us stronger. Love your post.
I agree Bhavya! Glad you enjoyed the post and thanks for visiting. 🙂
Ah yes… regrets. My biggest regret is that I left my dream of becoming a writer at a young age. Thank goodness I caught on – better late than never, no? Well-written, Debbie. 😀
This is something we have in common Mary. It’s never too late. 🙂 Thanks for visiting.
I don’t have many but as a dog I live in the moment and don’t let the past and future drag me down. Mom regrets lots of things like not really trying to learn in school. She hated school and just wanted to finish. She wishes she had done more things on her layovers when she was flying but she has seen so much of the world it doesn’t matter all that much. I guess she has lots of other things but that could be a whole new blog – LOL!
Hi Emma; Dogs sure do have the right attitude. 🙂 Your mom seems pretty smart and I bet she has lots of great memories from her travels. Thanks for visiting and have a great weekend.
I hope I can write this without crying….
I have several regrets but the one I will never get over is not having my son in my life as he was growing up.
I was a single mom with a one year old and 3 month old and my son’s father’s parents offered to take care of him for me. From that point on I would occasionally see him.
By the time he came back into my life he was a teenager and in a lot of trouble. I always wonder if his life would have been different had he stayed with me. The good thing is he’s in my life now and we have a great relationship.
As far as my career regrets, I regret working so many hours and letting it affect my family the way it did.
Interesting post Debbie 🙂
That must have been terribly difficult for you, Corina. Glad things turned out well in the end. As for career; I too regret those workaholic years. Thanks for sharing your story. Have a good weekend. 🙂
I don’t really have many regrets that I can list off the top of my head but sometimes I wonder if I am living up to my potential…
Hi Talya; Glad you don’t have many regrets. Thanks for visiting today and it’s nice to meet you. 🙂
Regrets! We all have them, don’t we? So glad you were able to re-invent yourself and do what aligns with your personality, Debbie!
Yes, I too am glad that it turned out for the best, but, it was an incredibly difficult time. Thanks for reading and sharing. Corinne. 🙂
Hi Debbie, interesting you bring this up. I was thinking a lot about this yesterday. I’d say mine are relationships and always wonder what if? I try to look ahead but sometimes looking back can happen – as it did to me yesterday by a song on the radio. I haven’t looked back with regret on career often as I always fell into what I liked doing along the way. Do you find as you get older looking back more than looking forward?
Music always takes me back, Lisa. 🙂 You were fortunate in your career. I thought I was doing what I wanted at the time. What an epiphany that was, in the end! Yes definitely, I think getting older makes us dwell in the past a little more. Thanks for reading and have a great day!