2 CommentsFriendship, Life, Music

Some people need lessons, or, so it seems! 🙁

I consider myself a good friend. Loyal, empathic, always here for you, no matter what the mood or circumstance. This is what TRUE friendship is all about. Perhaps I have a little more empathy and sensitivity than the average person, (as I have been told), but, consider this scenario, if you will:

My father, (who lived in California with my mother, about 2600 miles away), suffered from lung cancer for six months, before he finally gave up the fight. I have been back and forth several times since last September (2010). My last trip was for three weeks and I returned home on Feb. 6, as my father was in hospice care and appeared to be stable. Sadly, he passed away on Feb. 9 (2011), three days after my return, and I headed back to California on Feb. 13.

The California authorities are difficult to deal with and it took a very long time to get the death certificates, plus, my mother has basically “zoned out” in her grief and won’t handle anything herself. I was left with the nightmare scenario of dealing with taxes and the fact that my mother did not have a proper ID card to settle things with my father’s estate, (Of course, this was never an issue when he was alive, but, now the banks will not cooperate with her unless she has that card.) Added to that, I have been away from home and my husband for a long time, not to mention my business, which he has been running with the help of friends. This all caused me to fall into a state of depression and despair and in my anguish, reach out to someone I considered a good friend. What do you suppose I got in return? DEAFENING silence – for days!! 😯 Eventually, there came this response: “Seemed like you were in a ranting depression the other day – hope things are better now” and an account of the vacation plans the family was making for Spring Break! 😯 Please note, whenever this person was upset or depressed, I always tried to make them feel better with words of comfort and concern. This is someone who means a lot to me, but, obviously, that sentiment is NOT reciprocated! Life is too short to put up with fair weather friends. To those people I say:

No more fair weather friends!


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Debbie D.

Canine Innkeeper in suburban Toronto, Canada, known as “The Doglady”. Writer/website owner, photographer, animal lover, music fanatic, inveterate traveller. History, literature and cinema buff. Eternal “hippie/rockchick”. Binational, German/Canadian and multilingual. Looking for the next adventure!

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2 thoughts on “HOW TO BE A GOOD FRIEND

  1. Yes it is very sad indeed that your friend, even with your willingness to share your personal upset was so lacking with any responses to you, obviously this person didn’t want to offer any kind of support whatsoever and that is very upsetting and extremely
    disappointing… With friends like that, who needs enemies?

    Do have a very nice rest of day and equally a relaxing care-free evening too…

    Luckily not all Friends are like that…

    Androgoth XXx