#8sunday WEEKEND WRITING WARRIORS; MAY 5/13

45 Comments#8sunday #WeWriWa, Blogfests, Writing/Blogging

Welcome to another instalment of Weekend Writing Warriors’

8 Sentence Sunday Blog Hop

Today’s post is a continuation from two weeks ago,  Chapter One of “Internat Adventures”, my Swiss boarding school memoir.  

Setting: Sept. 1968, day one.  I was “13 going on 30”, independent and rebellious.  Left on my own after moving in, I went for a walk, only to be stopped and escorted back to the dormitory by a stern-faced matron.

Back at the house, I noticed the bars on the ground floor windows for the first time and asked her what they were for.  My stomach was in knots and my mind in turmoil!  Was this some kind of a fancy prison? 

“The bars, my dear, are to keep you girls out of trouble”, she smugly explained, “to make sure there’s no funny business between you and the boys!”  

(This was a co-educational school, with several different buildings and segregated dormitories.)

By now, my level of despair was overwhelming and I threw myself on the bed, sobbing.

This was a jail sentence of my own making!   

What have I done?!

Pretty bad, yes?  Caging a free spirit!  Stay tuned for Chapter Two in the subsequent weeks.

Read the full chapter HERE

Complete series HERE

Thanks for reading.  

Comments and helpful critiques always welcome.

Click on the image to view all participants.  Please visit as many as you can and comment on their work as well.  Happy reading!

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THANKS FOR SHARING!
Debbie D.
Canine Innkeeper in suburban Toronto, Canada, known as "The Doglady". Writer/website owner, photographer, animal lover, music fanatic, inveterate traveller. History, literature and cinema buff. Eternal "hippie/rockchick". Binational, German/Canadian and multilingual. Looking for the next adventure!
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45 thoughts on “#8sunday WEEKEND WRITING WARRIORS; MAY 5/13

  1. Wow. What a school, huh? I’m fascinated this is your experience. I be interested to read what happened.

    1. Yup; this was my life for the 68-69 school year, (grade 9). It was fascinating and horrific in equal measure. Stay tuned. 🙂 Thanks for visiting.

  2. Okay I do agree that using the double punctuation and the italics dilutes the impact of the thought but that’s easily changeable (if you want to change it).

    Teenagers do overdramatize things and that’s why I think your reaction to the situation is so believable. Plus, if you were unhappy at home and couldn’t wait to get away even for a while, those bars on top of being told you couldn’t go anywhere by yourself must have been the proverbial feather that broke the camel’s back. Hope you continue this next week!

    1. Hi Marcia; I did change the punctuation, but left a little, just for emphasis. (It was all caps before.) You described my situation perfectly and I recounted it exactly as I remembered it. Thanks for visiting. 🙂

    1. Bars on windows is a pretty dramatic situation and I was quite devastated at the time. Thanks for reading, Sue Ann. 🙂

  3. Debbie, I think you presented the despair quite well, but I kind of agree with Majanka. The multiple use of punctuation marks and caps may be okay once or twice in the book, but if they are used over and over, they lose their impact. Now this is bad for the protagonist/narrator, sure, but how would you present it if later on her life were in peril. You’ve kind of used up the punctuation/caps device with this scene. You can’t just add caps and exclamation marks. Now I’m not saying I should serve as any example, but my snippet this week describes a boy catching on fire as seen through his eyes and I used one sentence in caps with one exclamation mark and that was when he actually realized he was burning up.

    1. If this were actually a book, then I would tone it down, for sure. It’s just a blog post at this point though, complete with illustrations, for effect. The question begs: why can’t one do what one likes? Creative licence is just that, yes? 😉 Nevertheless, since two of you have now mentioned that, I will change it. Thanks for reading!

  4. Ugh! Bars and no boys? Can’t wait to find out what you did about THAT. 😉

  5. I’d have felt overwhelmed too! I certainly hope things improved somehow from this low point – I’m hooked, can’t wait to read more. Terrific snippet!

    1. Just seeing those bars was so shocking at the time! Wasn’t really about the boys for me, but rather, the total loss of freedom. Thanks for reading, Monica. 🙂

  6. Awww, I feel for her. Bars on the windows are likely done to protect her, but leave it to a strict nun to want to scare the “rotten” out of her. Great characterization in this. 🙂

    1. Yes, she was a smug old bitch, for sure! :-p We had our ways……stay tuned. 🙂 Thanks for reading and I’m glad you enjoyed it.

  7. Oh no, not bars on the windows. They’ll do anything to keep the boys out–and I have this strange feeling that they won’t succeed! Nice eight.

    1. Glad you enjoyed it, Elaine. I guess they didn’t want any scandals on their hands. Raging teenage hormones! Thanks for reading. 🙂

  8. I agree with Goran, it’s not just the boys they need to keep out. Enjoyed the snippet and l’m sure you find a way to make boarding school more fun!

  9. How awful the way you were treated. Girls should never be kept away from boys because I happen to love “funny business”. 😉 Great excerpt!

    1. Yup; it was pretty bad, Evelyn, and I agree there should be no bars in life, except the ones you visit to have a drink. 😉 Cheers!

  10. Another great 8! Boarding school gives me the willies. I have a few friends who went and they ain’t normal…lol>

  11. Great snippet, although I’m sorry they locked you up in prison behind bars. Or well, a boarding school prison. 🙂 My only comment would be the “WHAT HAVE I DONE????” at the end, which I think is a bit overwhelming. You’d get the same result by writing “What have I done?” and maybe putting it in italics, in my opinion. I liked the snippet and am looking forward to reading more next week!

    1. Thanks so much for reading. Glad you enjoyed it. As for that last sentence; overwhelmed is exactly how I felt, along with panicked and incredibly upset, so I think it fits. Appreciate the suggestion, nonetheless.

  12. I can’t imagine how you felt! But you’re resourceful. I’m sure you found a way. 🙂 Good *.

    I didn’t post this week. I’m out visiting, making rounds that I didn’t finish last week. 🙂

    1. Stay tuned! 🙂 Glad you liked it, Teresa. I’ll miss your Rissa story, but do understand. Sometimes, all of this is so time-consuming. Skipped last week myself, but am glad to be back. Cheers!

  13. It always takes time to adjust to a new situation. Bars may keep people in, but they can also keep people out. Who knows, that might come in handy one day. 🙂 Thanks for sharing.

    1. Hi Goran; Yes, those bars were meant to keep us in and the boys out, but, stay tuned to see what happens. 🙂 Thanks for visiting.

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