REGRETS #MondayMusings #MicroblogMondays

We all have them.  How we deal with them is an individual matter.  Personally, I agree with Frank!

Yes, I’ve definitely had a few, but always did things my own way, for better or for worse. When you get to be my age, (fast approaching 61), you sometimes think about “what might have been”. On the other hand, our past experiences mould us into the people we are today.  Still, if only we knew then what we know now…

My biggest regret is wasting two years chasing after a replacement for the corporate position I was “downsized” from in 1992.  (Their term; just a nicer way to say “fired”.) It was the most frustrating period of my life!

I was either overqualified, underqualified  overeducated, undereducated or the wrong gender! Of course, one cannot prove such allegations, but, female managers were scarce in the manufacturing sector, where my 16+ years of experience lay. One asshole even had the nerve to ask me if I was willing to get my hands dirty! In my previous job as parts department/inventory control manager, a good amount of time was spent in the plant, doing that very thing. Ha! Should’ve worn my shop coat and safety shoes to the interview.

Finally, in self-defence, I started a home-based business, which is still active today.  Why, oh why didn’t I do that in the beginning??!  Shortly after leaving the corporate rat race, the realization hit me that my true personality had been stifled all those years.  I had become a  burnt out workaholic.  Under no circumstances would I ever return to that treadmill!

workaholic-babybogie

Another big regret goes back over 40 years. As a young adult, I tried to establish a writing career. It had been my dream since childhood, but, the constant rejections were wearing me down and I gave it up. Earning a living became more important and life’s difficulties stifled my creativity.

Thanks to the internet and the blogosphere, the muse has made a triumphant return! They say, “it’s never too late” and here’s the great thing about writing: Age doesn’t matter, as long as your mind is still functioning.  That can’t be said for most other professions.

Computer_keyboard

More regrets:

– Neglecting my teeth and gums as a young (and foolish) adult. Paying for it now with quarterly torture sessions at the periodontist, (not to mention gum surgery, twice). Smoking for 37+ years exacerbated the problem and I regret doing that, too. Young’uns take heed!

– Accepting a job offer strictly for the money.  It turned out to be a bad fit and I was miserable, especially since the previous employer had been good in every way except monetarily. They refused my request for a raise, so I jumped ship. Thankfully, another company I wanted to work for recruited me a year later and offered an even higher salary. Unfortunately, it was the catalyst for regret #1, six years later. Perhaps I should have just stayed with the first employer all along! Ah yes, hindsight is always 20/20.

From the Archives, The Doglady's Den

Now it’s your turn.  

What are some of your regrets?  How did you handle them?

Looking forward to your replies!

Debbie

Linking up with Write Tribe’s #MondayMusings and Stirrup Queens’ #MicroblogMonday.

#MondayMusings + #MiroblogMondays

Join us, will you?





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Debbie D.
Canine Innkeeper in suburban Toronto, Canada, known as "The Doglady". Writer/website owner, photographer, animal lover, music fanatic, inveterate traveller. History, literature and cinema buff. Eternal "hippie/rockchick". Binational, German/Canadian and multilingual. Looking for the next adventure!
Debbie D.
Debbie D.
Debbie D.

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66 Comments

Filed under #MicroblogMondays, #MondayMusings, Life, Link Ups

66 Responses to REGRETS #MondayMusings #MicroblogMondays

  1. Shailaja
    Twitter:

    I so identify with the job for good pay regret. I loved the job as well as the pay but the bosses were mean and irascible. I stuck it out for 6 months and then quit, vowing never to go back to work purely for money, ever again. In hindsight, I figure that this is a good lesson for us all. Sometimes we need to make our own mistakes to figure it out.

    Glad you are writing, Debbie. So glad!
    Shailaja recently posted…Welcome to my new home on the webMy Profile

    • Nice to see you, Shailaja. 🙂 It’s never good to be motivated solely by money. In my case, the company I went to was one of my clients, so I already had a good business relationship with the owner and several employees. What a rude awakening it was to actually work there! 🙁

      Generally, I write when the muse strikes, but, of course, the website is always looking for new material. Photography and music fill it out nicely. (Two other obsessions!)
      Debbie D. recently posted…YELLOW – PHOTO FRIDAYMy Profile

  2. I can understand how personality changes in a bad workplace. And along with me, the family too suffered. It’s a good thing to listen your heart and for once do what it says 🙂 Glad that your writing and home business are going great 😀
    Rajlakshmi recently posted…Ahoy Matey !!My Profile

  3. Lata Sunil
    Twitter:

    Looks like I am the last one to read this wonderful post. It has got me thinking. As you said, we do so many things never knowing where our happiness lies. If only, I could go back two decades, I would have given priority to my health.

  4. Aditi
    Twitter:

    Love this post Debbie. I guess we all have our own regrets but it is what you make with life and how you live it! Loved how you turned your life around and started your own business. And we sure can and should follow our passions, whatever the age!
    Aditi recently posted…Can I Confess?My Profile

  5. Now I love your post. For reasons plenty. I can completely relate to the manufacturing sector thing with safety shoes, cause hello! I work at a car plant as a manager 😀 and Yes writing being our common connect, blogging has allowed us that dream to fly off just a little bit 🙂

    Here’s to a life of no regrets from here on! *cheers*
    richa singh recently posted…Can I confess? #MondayMusingsMy Profile

  6. Mel
    Twitter:

    I don’t have big regrets mostly because I can see how my mistakes have led me to this place or that. At least, that’s my thought right now. Come back to me in a few years (or a few minutes when things occur to me!) and I may have a different answer.
    Mel recently posted…The Welcome Table: An Annual Online Thanksgiving MealMy Profile

  7. I also regret I didn’t stick with writing after my first couple of rejections. Blogging has been the fulfillment of a dream for me – I get to write what I want, when I want and I get to incorporate my photographs in my blogs. My other regrets? Deep down – I wish I had chosen a career that benefited my local community rather than chosen to work in the corporate world. When I was in my mid 20’s (this was around 1977) I was offered a job as secretary to the head of the YMCA in a city in Kansas where my husband and I then lived, due to his job. It paid peanuts, and I turned it down. But, I sometimes wonder what direction my life may have taken if I had started my work career in the non profit sector. I’ve thought about doing volunteer work at a nonprofit after I retire. I wonder how much of a culture shock it would be.
    Alana recently posted…Why Should I Be Grateful?My Profile

    • Sounds like we have a few things in common, Alana. 🙂 I suppose working for a non-profit would bring more personal satisfaction, but when you need to the pay the bills, that’s not of prime importance. That said, I make a lot less money now, but am much happier. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
      Debbie D. recently posted…ALMOST CUT MY HAIR!My Profile

  8. Debbie, I was reading through the comments and behold! I found one I wrote 2-1/2 years ago. How funny! I still regret that I started writing so late in life rather than sooner, but 2013 was a weird year for me–good things and bad things both. That was the year that my daughter came and stayed with Russ and I for the whole summer. It was also the year of my other biggest regret: instead of insisting Russ take a shower, I should have immediately called 911. If only I had listened to his feeble excuses with my heart instead of accepting them at face value, he would probably still be sitting next to me every night on the couch, watching TV and cracking those ridiculously corny one-liners of his. And I’d be giving him my “Oh Puh-leeze” stare.
    Congratulations to Shady del Knight for quitting all those things cold turkey. You probably saved your life. Thumbs up for you.
    Mary Purpari recently posted…Tracking—The USPS Tennis DerbyMy Profile

    • Hi, Mary; Yes, this post is a re-run, but still worthy, I think. 🙂 You’ve certainly made up for lost time in the writing department. I remember when your daughter came to visit – you were so excited! 😀
      That last regret is a doozy and it worries me. Please don’t blame yourself for what happened to Russ. 🙁 He wasn’t in the best of health and it could have happened anytime.
      Debbie D. recently posted…ALMOST CUT MY HAIR!My Profile

  9. Oh, my list of regrets would be longer than my arm 😀 I have sulked and kicked myself in the past, but now I just think about them as great learning lessons. Thanks for sharing, Debbie 🙂
    Shilpa Garg recently posted…Letting Go Amidst ChaosMy Profile

  10. I used to have many, Debbie. But without meaning to sound trite, I’ve learned to see these mistakes as steps on my way to where I am today. For every wrong choice there seems to be a blessing that came out of it. And like you, I’m making up especially where my writing is concerned.
    Corinne Rodrigues recently posted…Daring To Start OverMy Profile

  11. All of us have regrets, right? My prominent one is where I counted some not so good ones as my good friends and trusted my life with them. But I take it as part of life. And no, I can’t stop trusting people because there were 2 or 3 bad seeds. Maybe I will have more such regrets. 🙂
    Vinitha recently posted…#MicroblogMondays – Moments of despair and joyMy Profile

  12. Sid
    Twitter:

    Regrets…i guess we all have them. Of course, the longer we’re fortunate to live, the more we sort of have them. But the power of introspection is awesome and you sort of realise, although we’ve had regrets, we’ve also lived life pretty well. Thanks for sharing it with us, Debbie.
    Sid recently posted…Clutter, Declutter and Black HolesMy Profile

  13. Regrets? Too many to count. However, I try and look at them as lessons now. We can’t change what happened, but we can alter our perspective. As a lesson, it will positively influence my future; as a regret, it will only make me bitter. Just my two cents. 🙂
    Shantala recently posted…The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger | Book ReviewMy Profile

  14. Hi, dear Debbie the Doglady!

    Mrs. Shady and I share your indignation about the way woman are often treated in the workplace and how they are often undervalued and dismissed in job interviews. I admire you for overcoming the obstacle of gender bias, breaking through the glass ceiling and proving yourself in a corporate setting. My chief regrets revolve around my misspent youth. In my junior year of high school I discovered wine, women and song at the Shady Dell and spent most of my time hanging out with my buddies when I should have been home cracking the books. My grades suffered. My college career was pretty much a four year party, too. I didn’t apply myself as much as I should have. I remember my dorm counselor telling me I needed to “attack my education.” I failed to do that. I had a variety of exciting jobs along the way but spent close to 30 years drinking too much, smoking too much and experimenting with recreational drugs. Many days I went to work feeling like a dog’s breakfast and was lucky I didn’t get fired. I had some great times but I regret that I didn’t keep the partying within reasonable limits and live a more balanced life. Then came the day in June 1992 when I quit drinking, smoking and drugging all at the same time – cold turkey – done and done and done. Free at last!

    Thanks for sharing, dear friend Debbie!
    Shady Del Knight recently posted…Enroll Today in Lois and Peter Griffin’s School of Rock! Vol. 1: Confucius Say, Seven Day Binge Make One Weak!My Profile

    • One thing I’ll never regret is having a good time in life, Shady. but agree that moderation is preferable. 🙂 I remember some boozy all-nighters (a few of them with my bosses), then going straight to work with no sleep. Brutal! Back then, corporate culture was swimming in alcohol and we all imbibed. Good for you for stopping all that unhealthy behaviour! Even more admirable that you did it cold-turkey. I had a helluva time trying to quit smoking, but it’s been 8 years since the last slip (I managed to break the carton a week habit in 2003, but would buy occasional packs in moments of weakness) and now the smell nauseates me.

      I wonder why you have regrets about your education since you did have such exciting jobs, regardless. Were you planning on a different career that was dependent on getting better grades? I think employers put way too much stock in those pieces of paper and don’t look at the person behind them. (Spoken by someone with only one incomplete year of college 😉 )

      No point dwelling on regrets, but they certainly make us wiser and can serve as inspiration for others.

      Thanks for sharing your story, Shady. Have you ever thought of writing a memoir? Bet that would be a fascinating read!
      Debbie D. recently posted…YELLOW – PHOTO FRIDAYMy Profile

      • Hi again, Debbie the Doglady! Thank you for fishing my comment out of the spam bin. I hope this reply goes through. (By the way, this post of yours never showed up in my reader. The latest post in my stream is the Yellow – Photo Friday piece.) The blogging gremlins are working overtime, it seems.

        I will answer your questions. While it’s true that I landed four different fun and interesting jobs during my career, I regret having partied most of my time away during college, thereby wasting an opportunity to get a better education. I wanted to get into television and Speech/Broadcasting/Journalism was my major, so that wasn’t the issue. It’s just a matter of regretting my out of control behavior. My parents paid good money to send me to a reputable university. It was wrong for me to host wild parties, attend frat bashes and hang out in bars almost every night while I was up there.

        As far as writing a memoir, my blog serves that purpose nicely. In it I reveal to you who and what I am, where I have been and where I am going. At SDMM, I tell true stories of the Shady Dell and the people I knew there. I also share highlights of my career, my hobbies and interests, and information related to my work in the motivational seminar movement. These stories have typically surfaced when I received blog awards, the kind that require recipients to reveal five new things about themselves.

        Thank you for wanting to get to know me better, dear friend Debbie. I appreciate it!
        Shady Del Knight recently posted…Enroll Today in Lois and Peter Griffin’s School of Rock! Vol. 1: Confucius Say, Seven Day Binge Make One Weak!My Profile

        • Thanks for coming back, Shady. 🙂 No gremlins here today. Strange about the blog feed on your site; it tested as valid. Oh well!

          Your explanation gives me a better understanding now. I think we all have some wasted opportunities to reflect on. Some of my early travel experiences come to mind. I was too young to fully appreciate everything and wish I could revisit some of those places.

          Blog award posts are great for learning more about the person and I’ll be sure to check out some of yours. 🙂 Cheers!

  15. Too many to count. You’ve read my book LOL. When my mind tends to wander in that direction, I make the choice of not going there. Those past mistakes we all make form the person we become. None of us would be who we are today without them.
    Carol Graham recently posted…When Your Energy is Spent – Can You Keep Going?My Profile

  16. I have many regrets, but am learning to let them go and enjoy my life and who I am now in spite of things I could or should have done differently. Not always easy, but I’ll get there. 🙂
    Laurel Regan recently posted…#MicroblogMondays 65 – In praise of paper plannersMy Profile

  17. In my own way I concur with many of those that you mentioned. I don’t think much about things I could regret. My philosophy is that if it happened in the past and there’s nothing I can do to change it now then forget about it. I’d like to think my experience might help younger generations, but they rarely listen. I know I didn’t.

    Arlee Bird
    Tossing It Out

    • I agree, one shouldn’t dwell on regrets, because as you said, there’s nothing you can do about them. Plus they shape who we are. Right again about young people not listening. I remember thinking I had all the answers too, but it doesn’t hurt to try. 🙂 I tend to get vocal about the smoking issue and now, the very smell nauseates me!
      Debbie D. recently posted…YELLOW – PHOTO FRIDAYMy Profile

  18. I regret not majoring in film and graphics. Instead, I flew as a stewardess for Pan Am… and actually led a life ripe for a movie.. so maybe that was the better alternative. 

  19. Wow! We share many of the same regrets! But I think it’s safe to say we’ve both learned to live with them and can bask in the freedom to just be ourselves – at last. 🙂 This has inspired some much-needed introspection and I’m very glad you shared!

  20. Charmie
    Twitter:

    Hey Debbie,
    Regrets…!!! are those things which when comes, brightens your life only if we are ready to correct them. I mean we all have regrets at some or the other point in our lives when we realize our mistakes. So before regretting its important to realize the mistake. I mean any person has the right to regret only when he/she has the guts to correct them or not repeating that mistakes. 🙂
    Thanks for such a great share. 🙂

    Regards
    Charmie
    Charmie recently posted…Has Nokia turned Sleeky and Trendy with Nokia Lumia 925′s launch?My Profile

  21. I’m glad I dropped by to this post, made me see another person’s perspective on life’s mistakes and regrets. My own regrets are few and far between. One is my neglect to establish my career based on my profession. But this was due to surrounding circumstances at the time. At least I am happy the way my life turned out, with all the people I have touched because of my work in the past.
    Amy Turner recently posted…Best Cities for College GraduatesMy Profile

  22. Kathy
    Twitter:

    Oh boy, regrets. They are always in hindsight. All you can do is learn from the past and keep moving forward.Kathy
    Kathy recently posted…Time to Pause: Reflections of the A-ZMy Profile

  23. Hey Debbie! Glad to connect with you! I think we’ve all had our fair share…….but then again, had we not explored the path we were NOT supposed to be on, we’d never have known that the one we are on is the right one for us! Thanks for sharing!! And I am now thinking of a story to share on this!

  24. Don’t beat yourself up over the teeth thing. I am SURE genetics has more to do with tooth decay than neglect. When young, I was a horrid patient and have had better dental visits than some folks I know who took great care of their teeth. I take good care of my teeth now but didn’t always. No one in my family has had dental problems. We all die young with a great set of teeth. 🙂
    Joyce recently posted…Promote Your Book Bloghop: Meet and GreetMy Profile

    • It’s more about the gums than the teeth, for me. My father also had gingivitis, so I agree about heredity playing a part. He and I were both heavy smokers though. I believe this was the catalyst, more than anything else. Thanks for visiting and sharing your thoughts. Hope you don’t follow your family’s tradition of dying young. 🙂
      Debbie recently posted…#8sunday WEEKEND WRITING WARRIORS; MAY 5/13My Profile

  25. Mary Stephenson
    Twitter:

    Hi Debbie

    Regrets, I have many, but it is amazing we only notice them when it is too late. I wish I had said “no thank you” when I was 18, a voice told me to say it but I could not justify the words. My life could have turned out totally different. Would it have been better? I really don’t know. Then when I was 30 I wish I had said “no way will this happen here”. But I didn’t and I definitely regret the outcome. Then I wish I had at least tried for a different job back in 2000, but I didn’t. Today might be different. But I am an optimist and I believe the universe will not let me down…somehow I will find a way to change what could be better.

    Mary
    Mary Stephenson recently posted…Preprogrammed Without Our KnowledgeMy Profile

  26. Bhavya
    Twitter:

    Regrets. We all have them, for some or the other reason, we all goof up along the way; but most of the times, what causes us to regret, makes us stronger. Love your post.
    Bhavya recently posted…The Whirlwind that was the AtoZ April 2013 ChallengeMy Profile

  27. Ah yes… regrets. My biggest regret is that I left my dream of becoming a writer at a young age. Thank goodness I caught on – better late than never, no? Well-written, Debbie. 😀
    Mary Purpari recently posted…“W” is for WhyMy Profile

  28. emma
    Twitter:

    I don’t have many but as a dog I live in the moment and don’t let the past and future drag me down. Mom regrets lots of things like not really trying to learn in school. She hated school and just wanted to finish. She wishes she had done more things on her layovers when she was flying but she has seen so much of the world it doesn’t matter all that much. I guess she has lots of other things but that could be a whole new blog – LOL!
    emma recently posted…Happy May Day | GBGV | Wordless WednesdayMy Profile

  29. I hope I can write this without crying….

    I have several regrets but the one I will never get over is not having my son in my life as he was growing up.

    I was a single mom with a one year old and 3 month old and my son’s father’s parents offered to take care of him for me. From that point on I would occasionally see him.

    By the time he came back into my life he was a teenager and in a lot of trouble. I always wonder if his life would have been different had he stayed with me. The good thing is he’s in my life now and we have a great relationship.

    As far as my career regrets, I regret working so many hours and letting it affect my family the way it did.

    Interesting post Debbie 🙂
    Corina Ramos recently posted…What Goes In a Professional PortfolioMy Profile

  30. I don’t really have many regrets that I can list off the top of my head but sometimes I wonder if I am living up to my potential…

  31. Regrets! We all have them, don’t we? So glad you were able to re-invent yourself and do what aligns with your personality, Debbie!

  32. Lisa
    Twitter:

    Hi Debbie, interesting you bring this up. I was thinking a lot about this yesterday. I’d say mine are relationships and always wonder what if? I try to look ahead but sometimes looking back can happen – as it did to me yesterday by a song on the radio. I haven’t looked back with regret on career often as I always fell into what I liked doing along the way. Do you find as you get older looking back more than looking forward?
    Lisa recently posted…Old Twitter Followers That Haven’t Tweeted Being Swept AwayMy Profile

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