#8sunday WEEKEND WRITING WARRIORS; MAR. 17/13

40 Comments#8sunday #WeWriWa, Blogfests, Writing/Blogging

This is the seventh instalment of Weekend Writing Warriors’

8 Sentence Sunday Blog Hop.

Offering a continuation from my short story, “Mommy! Make it Stop!”

Find last week’s snippet HERE

Angry voices shattered the darkness and she woke up with a start. The sounds of vomiting and water running in the tub kept her awake. Just when she started falling asleep once more, loud, panicked shouts filtered through the walls.

“Mommy! Make it stop!”

Father was having yet another nightmare. Mother once told her they were fuelled by memories of his time in mortal combat. “He’s trying to drown them out with alcohol”, she lamented.

It was dawn by then, so the little girl left her bed and went into the kitchen. Grabbed a bowl of cereal and adjourned to the living room to watch cartoons.

Read the entire story HERE.

Thanks for your time and please leave a comment.

Click on the image to view all participants. Please visit as many as you can and comment on their work as well. Happy reading!

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Canine Innkeeper in suburban Toronto, Canada, known as “The Doglady”. Writer/website owner, photographer, animal lover, music fanatic, inveterate traveller. History, literature and cinema buff. Eternal “hippie/rockchick”. Binational, German/Canadian and multilingual. Looking for the next adventure!
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40 thoughts on “#8sunday WEEKEND WRITING WARRIORS; MAR. 17/13

  1. Hi Debbie:

    How are you

    Just coming over from the blog of Sue Neal –
    Saw you there.

    This post is so heart touching –
    And your blog is so cool.
    So colorful and pretty –
    Just love it.

    Thank you for sharing this awesome info.

    Take care.
    Best wishes and regards
    Veena 🙂

  2. PTS is so tough for the soldier and also for the family. I had an uncle who had it all his life. His children said he would shout out during the night, terrified.

  3. I can only imagine how difficult it is seeing your dad in that state. As kids we see our dads as a superhero and feel they’re invincible.

    We have a friend who fought in Iraq and the first week he was home there was a shooting on his street and the gun shots woke him up and he just freaked out. My heart goes out to all the military people who have to live with all they saw during their tour.

    Great read Debbie. Looking forward to the next snippet. Have a great week!

    1. Hi Corina; thanks for visiting. Yes, sadly, military people often go through hell! My father was on the front lines in Korea and his hair turned white, practically overnight, at the age of 23. Glad you’re enjoying the story and have a great week! 🙂

  4. Wow, so disturbing. My dad had night terrors (though not as a result of combat), it was totally scary to hear him going off and just knowing to stay in bed until it was over. My poor dad would be so devastated the next morning… This little girl has way too much on her plate, poor thing.

    1. Night terrors are very frightening for everyone, so you can understand a bit about what the little girl was going through. Thanks for visiting, AJ and have a good week. 🙂

  5. Mommy make it Stop is the title. Think of this: Daddy’s got a nightmare. Again. Poor Daddy. I wish he didn’t go to war and come back not like my old Dad. The funny guy. I wish he shared my chocolate milk ‘stead of that stinky stuff. . .How old is she? My granddaughter is 5. The voice is important. Go Debbie. Maybe give her a dog to talk to.

    1. Thanks, Charmaine. I picture her about 7 or 8 years old and extremely mature for her age. She was a “little girl lost”, forced to grow up faster than normal. Perhaps I should change the title? Too juvenile? You’ve given me a lot to think about here and I’ll continue to work on it.

  6. Shell shock (to use George Carlin’s preferred label) can shatter lives.
    Your 8 shattered the stillness of my Sunday afternoon.
    Nice work.

  7. I thought the snippet was in a separate narrator’s POV. However, the line “Why did he not understand that NO amount of alcohol would still those demons?” does seem more like you intended it to be from the little girl’s POV, and if so, it does read as more sophisticated than she would be capable of.

    It’s a gripping tale though, and I love that you have a firm idea of what the dad’s going through. It comes across very realistically.

    1. Thanks Marcia. Charmaine made a similar comment and you both have a good point. IF you have a minute, please tell me what you think of this edit:

      Father was having yet another nightmare. Mother had said these were fueled by memories of his time in mortal combine and she lamented that no amount of alcohol would still those demons.

      I appreciate your feedback and will work on it. Cheers!

    1. Hi Charmaine; I really appreciate your feedback. Hadn’t considered that when writing the story, but, you absolutely have a good point. Thank you! If you have a moment, please tell me what you think of this edit:

      Father was having yet another nightmare. Mother had said these were fueled by memories of his time in mortal combine and she lamented that no amount of alcohol would still those demons.

      I value your opinion and will work on it. Cheers!